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Last night's Grammy gift baskets were reportedly worth $65,000 and, naturally, bestowed upon only the most deserving, bedraggled souls (Madonna, Kelly Clarkson, Mariah Carey, etc). The funny thing is, we don't actually know what the swag entailed: We were just given a list of 53 brands (flacks don't have time for details when there's so much, uh, flacking to be done!) that were somehow in the basket, including such crucial names as Nasal Comfort, Valhalla Shooting Club, and K-Y.

The full roster of brands is after the jump. Be warned: the absurdity of it all may induce seizures.

Altoids
ART SLUT Brand Merchandise
Assil Eye Institute
Body Mint
Breathe
Brugo Mugs
Chinese Laundry
Chopper Farm
Creative Nail
DANA Classic Fragrances
Elliott Lucca
FUNCTION urban detox
General Motors
GINGI
Heineken USA
House of Blues
JIMMYLAND CORPORATION
Jimmy Z
Junk Food
K-Y Touch Massage gels
kumi kookoon
Laser Solutions Skincare
Lavish Lashes
Lola s
Mary Kay
Music Connection Magazine
Nasal Comfort
Natural Instinct Shine Happy
Nine.com
People Magazine
Performance Race Training Center
Phillips Union
PL>Y Underwear
Pretty Punk
Pure Prescriptions
Quick Gyms
Ride Tones
Salon TRUE
Second Chance jeans
Shayna Mania, LLC
SudaCare Shower Soothers
SkinMilk
Snuggle
Steven Seagal s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink
Tamera Lyndsay for WilmaWorld.com
TEA GARDEN & Herbal Emporium
The Sports Club / LA
Tigi
Tupperware
Valhalla Shooting Club
Victoria s Secret Beauty
XM Radio
Zen of Screaming