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At the afterparty for Thursday night's premiere of Firewall, living legend Harrison Ford addresses young buck co-star Nikolaj Coster-Waldau: "Hey kid, hold my drink for a second while I go find my career. Haha. [beat] Don't laugh, it's not funny. I just needed a way to break the ice with you and talk about something important. You might be impressed with all these [gestures wildly to another part of the room] choc...o...late fount—fountains!—and the big wall of fire over there, but get over it quick. One day you're Han Fucking Indiana Solo Jones and the next thing you know, you're just protecting your family from a bunch of shit over and over... I said not to laugh, kid. You know what my next project is, besides getting out of these pants, why are they so goddamned tight?! It's called Doggy Door, kid, and I'm keeping my miniature pinscher safe from an evil kitten who can drive a tiny car. Get outta this business while you still can, I'm sure there are better jobs making—what are you, German? no?—industrial films about sausage factory safety or whatever it is you did before this. Gimme back my drink, I have to go punch and then hug my agent. I love that bastard. See ya around."

[Photo: Getty Images]