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Gratuity-dispensing, multi-platform superstar Jamie Foxx is back in LA, undoubtedly relieved that the Miami Vice hell shoot is finally over (albeit feeling somewhat lonesome for his voluptuously man-boobed co-star Colin Farrell). Still dateless for Hollywood's big prom night, Foxx spoke to Access Hollywood about what kind of arm-candy he prefers, smiling silently four feet behind him as he gives Ryan Seacrest some red carpet face time:

Don't be ashamed if you're a little thick. I like the thickness too, he grinned. [...] Something to keep me warm in the winter. [...]


I like [long] legs, and how do I say this um, dumps, Jamie smiled. Yeah, dumps.

What's a dump? Nancy asked.

Dumps is like the posterior Jamie started to explain. [...]

I like a woman that has something, that they are doing something. That's attractive to me when a woman as a job, he revealed. Sometimes I run into girls at the club that have those little bags with 2-3 days worth of clothes in them and I'm like, What are you doing? and they say Oh, just in case...

Finally, an explanation for that backpack-in-clubs trend that has baffled us for ages: Those aren't just inconvenient accessories they are overnight bags for insinuating pro-starfuckers! With rampant opportunism like that so prevalent in the movie star dating pool, we can only hope Foxx finds himself a woman of substance. And if she just happens to be a thick, long-legged, generously-bedumped stone cold fox, well that'll just be the icing on the cake!