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The NY Times struggles to find the words to capture just what kind of Nielsen behemoth American Idol has become in this, its fifth season on the air. The lowbrow singing contest is racking up ratings so impossibly high, the only explanation is that not only is every family in the country watching the show, but that they must be birthing additional viewers during the airings, instantly propping up the placenta-covered newbies so as not to miss the humiliation of a single warbling, effeminate Midwesterner by the show's panel of obliged, apathetic judges. To give some indication of just how many people are watching, consider the numbers among arguably the show's bread and butter demographic, teenage girls:

Among teenage girls, the show had an extraordinary 49 share meaning that of every girl in the country watching television for those two hours, with about 100 channels to choose from in most homes, half were watching Fox. Probably nothing on television since the heyday of "The Cosby Show" has regularly posted numbers like that.

A portal into the minds of half the teenage girl population: It's an innocuous enough proposition when they are merely being massaged into buying Coke products and Bo Bice CDs, less so when you imagine power mad Idol producers leaning into their microphone to instruct Ryan Seacrest to "Now make them kill their parents, get pregnant, or buy L'Oreal products. Your choice."