A Lot Divided: DVD Discount Reinstated!
Just a couple of weeks ago, the Paramount lot found itself suddenly divided by the official corporate split of Viacom into two new—and competing—companies, with employees of the just-created CBS Corp. instantly demoted to second-class citizenship on the New Viacom-controlled campus. The gods of Viacom celebrated the split by toying with the CBSers, heaping Job-like trials upon them in an attempt to make them curse their Moonves for allowing their capricious suffering. But now, perhaps in an attempt to retract some former pettiness, Team Freston has made an ameliorating gesture: the reinstatement of the coveted DVD discount for everyone. Says an operative on the lot:
As an independent observer "embedded" in the "unclean" (CBS Corp) side of the Paramount lot, it was just revealed to me that two weeks back I was seduced by what I can only now describe as a fantastically snide and embarrassingly (for me) effective sales technique foisted upon us (the CBS-affiliated-lotizens - yes I guess I'm "deeply embedded") by the Paramount studio store. You see, two weeks ago, as the much discussed DVD discount (once offered to all employees working on the Paramount lot) was in its last days for the embattled "unclean" lotizens, I decided I may as well buy $200 of DVDs (that's actually 50 DVDs!) while I still had the chance. I still haven't opened my shrinkwrapped Ken Burns' Civil War or my copy of On a Clear Day You Can See Forever..., but I'm excited that those moments await me, and I'm pleased that I paid less for the privilege. Still, I'm sure you can imagine just how high I raised my right eyebrow upon overhearing that the powers-that-be have decided to re-establish the Studio Store's generous $4 DVD purchase-program for ALL employees on the lot, regardless of their corporate parentage. Was there a lesson here? Was my $200 response to the pending cancellation of the studio store's discount program appropriate or predictably and pathetically immature?
This might ease tensions on the lot for now, but we think the CBSers shouldn't stop sharpening their machetes quite yet. This could merely be the prelude to a much more nefarious plan, where Viacommies wielding ether-soaked rags beset any member of the underclass lured into the Studio Store by the promise of cheap Godfather DVD sets, then
bus their unconscious prey to a shantytown "auxiliary lot" in downtown LA.