Monday Morning Box Office: Underworld: Evolution's Furry Bloodsuckers
Like a mother sparrow dropping worm segments into the hungry, outstretched beaks of its screeching baby brood, we regurgitate for you the weekend's box office numbers. Nourish yourselves.
1. Underworld: Evolution $27.6 million
Apparently the West Side Story aspects of the plot are really played up in this sequel, with werewolf Scott Speedman and vampire Kate Beckinsale fully consummating their interspecies relationship, as the rival monster gangs jet across the background in a stunning approximation of Jerome Robbins' choreography.
2. Hoodwinked $11 million
Audiences just can't seem to get enough of this radical 3D animated updating of the Little Red Riding Hood story, with much of the credit going to the amazingly lifelike facial expressions on the red cube representing Lil' Red.
3. Glory Road $9 million
With each movie in this week's top five catering to a different audience demographic (Underworld: teens, Hoodwinked: kids, Last Holiday: chicks, Brokeback: The Gays) superproducer Jerry Bruckheimer had the inspired realization that there was a Glory Road-shaped hole in the lineup for movies catering to middle-aged, middle of the road white guys like himself.
4. Last Holiday $9 million
It's really hard to begrudge the multitalented Queen Latifah anything; that is, until she chose to open the Golden Globes by telling us how great her career is going, followed by a plug for this movie. Then fourth place isn't only fitting, it's kind of funny!
5. Brokeback Mountain $7 million
Brokeback managed to pick up the Producer's Guild of America's best picture award over the weekend, a prize that has gone on to predict the Best Picture Oscar 11 of the past 16 years. The movie's a lock for a nomination at least, as is the inevitable Oscar night Robin Williams improvised monologue involving a moonlight encounter between John Wayne, Jack Nicholson and a wayward sheep.