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The weekend is tantalizingly close, and so are your beckoning local multiplexes, where any of the following quality motion pictures are available for your viewing enjoyment (unless of course, your local multiplex is owned by Larry H. Miller). Study the following predictions, confident in the fact that ever since a one-eyed gypsy woman slapped us in the forehead, we have rarely been wrong:

1. Underworld: Evolution $29 million
It's the return of the centuries-old battle betweens lycanthropes and vampires, in which no one ever wins, particularly the audience. According to Underworld star Scott Speedman, the husband-wife team of director Len Wiseman and co-star Kate Beckinsale were "a little cutesy. They like each other a lot; it's kind of vomit-inducing at times." Sounds like a dream set!

2. Brokeback Mountain $7 million
It's week 2 of Brokeback's wide release, and its Golden Globe wins certainly won't hurt its chances of pulling in some decent numbers. Meanwhile, its porn counterpart Bareback Mountain has suffered a steep decline in receipts when viewers looking for a little Heath-type on Jake-type action were disappointed to find the title stars a couple of 19-year-old twinks. (And they couldn't even find a blonde one.)

3. Glory Road $6 million
Those of you wise enough to have plugged into producer Jerry Bruckheimer's celebrity iTunes playlist yesterday have gotten merely a taste of the radical artistic vision awaiting should you choose to travel down his Glory Road.

4. Hoodwinked $6 million
Because it's Friday, because we're tired, because this looks like the worst piece of CGI garbage we've seen since the Money For Nothing video, well, that's it.

5. Last Holiday $5 million
They are billing this movie as Queen Latifah, LL Cool J, and Timothy Hutton as we have never seen them before, and we are inclined to believe them.