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Pillar of British tabloid journalistic integrity The Sun reports that the infamous "Trapped in the Closet" episode of South Park, in which Tom Cruise is not so subtly outed as being gay (the entire episode is available courtesy Scientomogy, but just to give those who missed it some reference point, a subtler maneuver would have been to write the word "HOMO" on Cruise's forehead in pink spray paint, accompanied by a giant, downward pointing arrow running down his face and torso), has been pulled from its UK airing schedule, with whispers that it was Cruise himself who's to blame:

NERVOUS TV bosses have axed an episode of South Park which OUTS a fictional Tom Cruise character as gay because they are scared the real actor will SUE.


The wacky cartoon shows Hollywood star Cruise refusing to come out of a closet in a reference to rumours about his sexuality

It was shown in America last year but Cruise, 43, is believed to have threatened legal action if it is shown again.

So it will not be screened on the Paramount channel on Friday as planned. An insider said: Tom is famously very litigious and will go to great lengths to protect his reputation.

It would be an impressive maneuver if Cruise's ferocious legal team were capable of censoring the episode in looser lipped though litigation friendly England, when they couldn't manage to accomplish the same on our shores. Should UK broadcasters choose to air it, however, rest assured that scary Cruise lawyer Bert Fields is up to the challenge. We imagine his legal interns are frantically powdering his horse-hair poofy wigs as we speak.