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The watercooler chatter indicating that bigtime UTA lit agent Marty Bowen is ditching the agency for a producing deal at New Line has reached deafening levels. We're sure we don't need to tell you that Charlie Kaufman immortalized Bowen in Adaptation, who was hilariously depicted with sodomy-craving relish ("See her? I fucked her up the ass.") by Ron Livingston. Pavlovian salivation over Bowen's client list, which (according to the Studio System database) includes the aforementioned Kaufman, the Broken Lizard guys, and James Gandolfini has already commenced, and a poach-happy rampage should soon ensue over those UTA (reportedly busy soiling its Armani pants over the loss) can't convince to stay in the fold. CAA is probably already planning a showy baby-eating exhibition by the side of Wilshire Boulevard to impress any waffling talent with their bloodthirsty commitment to their clients.