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• Former Jackass Steve-O claims to have given Paris Hilton and Starvos Niarchos some "mind-altering substances" shortly before Niarchos crashed Hilton's Bentley. Steve-O is clearly our generation's Deep Throat. [Scoop]
• Director Steven Spielberg has demanded an apology from Kathy Griffin after she made a rehab joke in regards to toddling actress Dakota Fanning. Griffin faces blacklisting from Spielberg's projects, but that might be the best thing to ever happen to her career. [Page Six]
• In his autobiographical novel Junior, former child-star Macauley Culkin confesses to thoughts of suicide. If we were constantly fighting off bungling burgulars, we'd be suicidal, too. [R&M]
• Jessica Simpson drops a grand on cartoon art that reads like something you'd buy in Times Square. [Page Six]
• Universal Music might have reached the end of its rope with devilish exec Tommy Mottola. If so, does this mean he might disappear forever? Please? [Gatecrasher]
• We can't decide if Newark's would-be mayor Cory Booker is hot or not. [Lowdown]