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Join us in firmly, but gently, grasping the feet of this week's sponsors and applying soothing pressure to their barking dogs. Without them, we'd be offering sessions with our magic hands for five bucks an hour at some sleazy "spa" on Hollywood Boulevard. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and tempt our spend-thirsty readers with your sexy products or services, see this page.

· Nokia
· Casanova
· Match Point
· The Matador
· New Line
· ASPCA
· The Strokes