Today in Blackface Jesus: The Manifesto
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We're sure you've been wondering what Blackface Jesus, our wonderfully offensive downtown mascot, has been up to lately. When not cruising his usual hipster spots, it seems that Blackface J has been mixing his carpentry with some global thought. From his MySpace blog:
INTERNATIONAL PEACE DOCTRINE
THE DOCTRINE IS IN THE FINAL STAGES..IT IS A CALL FOR A GLOBAL CEASE FIRE OF ALL NATIONS,RELIGIONS AND GROUPS..IT MUST BE INTRODUCED BY OUR PRESIDENT UNDER A WHITE FLAG TRUCE MEETING..ALL GROUPS WILL SIGN,AND THE ONES THAT DONT WILL THEN POSE A THREAT TO THE WHOLE WORLD..WE WILL SEE WHO IS FOR PEACE AND WHO IS NOT..AND THEN SIDES CAN BE DRAWN...WE MUST END THIS BEFORE IT ENDS US WE ONLY HAVE 7 YEARS TILL THE ASTROID HITS WE NEED TO FIND OUR PEACE BEFORE THAT DAY!
You heard it here first: you're either with Blackface Jesus, or with the astroid. We knew the Adminstration's version didn't sound quite right.