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Another Monday morning, another new (albeit temporary) Hollywood savior is born.

1. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe—$67.1 million
There's really no arguing with a $67.1 million opening (Disney's executives surely have their ears plugged with wads of money), but all the buzz this weekend seemed to be about Brokeback Mountain, appearing in only five theaters, 3,611 fewer than Narnia. Now that all the church groups have already seen the movie, look for Disney to chase a big second weekend by recutting the trailer to play up Aslan's forbidden, ultimately doomed relationship with a talking beaver.

2. Syriana—$12 million
Matt Damon's knocking-up of and sudden City Hall marriage to Luciana Barroso on the weekend that Syriana opened in wide release has to be the most cynical publicity stunt we've ever heard of. For shame, Matt Damon. We'd expect this from that Affleck character, not you.

3. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire—$10.3 million
Sorry, Harry. Only one Jesus figure gets to succeed each weekend. And no, we're not referring to Syriana's Fat Clooney.

4. Walk the Line—$5.75 million
We are sad to report that no news boosting Joaquin Phoenix's Oscar chances surfaced this weekend. So instead of the regularly scheduled installment of Joaquin Phoenix OscarWatch, please enjoy this article about Phoenix's fine work on behalf of Thanksgiving turkeys.

5. Yours, Mine, & Ours—$5.15 million
More fun with Dennis Quaid's IMDb profile: Quaid was born the son of a carpenter!