The Zagat's of Cocaine
Eventually, a truly problematic cocaine user will snort himself out of a job and be resigned to a life spent sweating and grinding within the confines of his apartment. Eschewing daylight and human contact in favor of waiting for the next delivery, it's only a matter of time before these shut-ins become bloggers, listing their favorite eight-ball distributors like music geeks list their favorite albums:
3rd Toilet Stall, Men's Bathroom, the Roxy: If you are "gay" "curious," or just a regular "cokehead who likes blowjobs," this is a dependable place to get "an overpriced bag of blow cut with detergent" and a "blowjob" all in one.
Jon Sampson's Bedroom, 21st and 1st: Sampson's bedroom, a "hidden gem" of drug havens located in a small basement apartment in Peter Cooper Village is "little known" and "off the beaten path," but "well worth the trip" for "plentiful helpings" of "excellent quality blow for NYC."
Jennifer Saperstein's parent's apartment, Park Ave. btwn 74th and 75th Streets: This "JAC" (jewish american cokewhore), who "doubles as a high school student at Dalton" first arrived on the coke-scene after an incident at her old boarding school involving "a custodian and a shetland pony." After "getting kicked out" of the prep school, her parents "dragged her back to the city," where she quickly "got in with a gang of drug dealing Dominican pimps" by "sucking dick for rock." Jen's "product is decent," and her "prices are firm," but "make sure you call ahead first" to make sure she is home, and not "in social studies class."
