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With nary a junk-dangling scandal or behind-the-scenes instance of hair-yanking bitch-slappery on the horizon, publicists for Desperate Housewives can rest easy, pleased that the show's in-house lightning rods for controversy will keep them in the papers as we approach Thanksgiving. Yesterday, we reported Eva Longoria's cheery holiday greetings to a parking attendant, and this morning, Teri Hatcher chipped in by suing a British tabloid for painting her as some kind of hippie nyphomaniac:

The Hollywood actress has instructed London law firm Schillings to issue and serve libel proceedings in the UK against the publishers of the Daily Sport.


The legal proceedings will concern recent articles which Ms Hatcher, 40, maintains falsely alleged that she engages in sex romps on a regular basis with a series of men in a VW van parked outside her LA home for this purpose. [...]

In a statement issued today, the law firm said: "The Sport additionally allege that Ms Hatcher does this so as not to be caught by her seven-year-old daughter during such sexual activity.

Apparently, even the Daily Sport's depiction of Hatcher as a responsible parent trying to shield her impressionable child from the adult world of van-sexuality wasn't enough to mollify her lawyers. If a Brit tabloid insists on fabricating a curbside love-nest for an American television personality in the future, we'd suggest they choose something a little more upscale than Volkswagon's iconic refrigerator on wheels, perhaps something in the Hummer or Lexus families. A starlet just wants to feel classy sometimes, you know?

Also: More drama is sure to ensue as Hatcher's lawsuit overshadows the proud announcement that co-star James Denton will host next year's Miss America pageant.