Monday Morning Box Office: Chicken Bigger Than We Thought
Monday mornings are hard enough without waking up to discover that God Himself purchased almost $20 million in movie tickets, just to mess with what should have been some alarmingly accurate box office projections.
1. Chicken Little—$40.1 million
A $40 million opening is certainly nothing to sneeze at, but remember that Disney's last collaboration with Pixar (an obscure little flick called The Incredibles—ask your local obnoxious video store clerk to find it for you) opened almost exactly a year ago with $70 million. Disney CEO Bob Iger is probably happy enough with the result, but he has to have some mixed feelings. It's kind of like waking up next to a 6 after a bender, issuing a self-satisfied grunt...then rolling over and seeing a photo of the nymphomaniac supermodel who left you for your brother.
2. Jarhead—$28.8 million
Jake Gyllenhaal is a Real Actor. Legend has it that he lost himself in his Jarhead role so completely that he knocked out his own tooth, beat the crap out of his co-star, and—perhaps most impressively—insisted on spending his off days roaming locals malls with his genitals tucked into a Santa hat, applying for Christmastime work.
3. Saw II—$17.2 million
Perhaps a tad overconfident over the ultra low-budget splatter flick Saw II's success, Lions Gate president Tom Ortenberg was overheard bragging that he could open "a blurry photograph of a minor nosebleed with $18 million, easy."
4. The Legend of Zorro—$10 million
Is it just us, or has Catherine Zeta Jones aged about 17 years since the Mask of Zorro's release seven years ago? We suspect that in an attic somewhere back in her native Wales, there's a birth certificate with a knife sticking out of it.
5. Prime—$5.3 million
6. Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story
Dakota Fanning will not be pleased when she discovers that her movie missed the top five by about half a million dollars. Meryl Streep might wake up this morning and find a My Little Pony head in her bed.
