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There's a word for a crazy person who gets off the proverbial bus in Los Angeles, her entire life crammed into a suitcase, and expects that one day, the entire world will know her name: "actress." And while it's easy to paint these ambitious individuals with the same, dismissive brush of insanity, it's important to distinguish between the kind of actress whose emotional turbulence results in a nervous breakdown when you point out she's bungled your lunch order, and the kind whose melodramatic suicidal tendencies propel her to success. The Simon shares an anecdote about the latter type of "L.A. Nut":

Years ago, this actress—a person I know casually—allegedly checked herself into a room on the top floor of a high-rise hotel with the full intention of jumping. Word is that such behavior was a not-uncommon practice of hers, signified by her phone calls for attention during this and similar episodes. Ultimately, she didn't jump. Instead, she did what so many actresses do, what seems to come naturally for them. She wrote her insanity into a one-woman stage show.


Which got her into a comedy festival.

Which got her an agent.

Who got her a network TV development deal.

It's a tragic reality of Hollywood that some will actually jump, but an article of faith that those are the ones without solid pilot ideas.