Hollywood Silly String Ban Enters Second Year
If you're anything like us, Halloween is an excuse to drink enough alcohol to kill a baby elephant, dress up in the clothes your mother thinks you delivered to the Salvation Army for her a decade ago, and stumble out into a throng of grope-happy strangers to temporarily blunt the psychic damage of 16 years of Catholic school. But because the Fun Police want to make sure that this annual purification ritual can't reach the level of total catharsis, they've once again banned the use of Silly String, a crucial prop in any self-respecting pagan orgy. They've covered Hollywood Boulevard in signs warning of $1,000 fines (pictured: one from last year), leaving scores of partyers whose costumes rely on the playful simulation of voluminous ejaculation scrambling to modify their outfits. We have faith in our fellow debauched masqueraders, however, and are confident that they'll find a alternative, legal way to splooge all over unsuspecting passers-by, probably one involving a weapons-grade mixture of Redi-Whip and a name-brand depilatory. They can take away our Silly String, but they can't kill our spirit!
