This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Trick or treat! Or neither. We're flexible that way. Truth be told, we always found Halloween a little overrated, conjuring up images of beer-battered Bridge N' Tunnel hordes at the West Village parade disguised in such creative costumes as 'Mets fan' and 'person wearing rubber mask,' and barking things like "Yo, Enhgela! Check out awl da quee-uhs!" in our ear. But don't let our candy-baggage ruin your fun. Get out there! Get wasted! Get laid! (And here is a hilarious guide to costumes that won't help you do that. Warning: the banner ads feature big boners and are not safe for work.) Just be extra careful, folks: the number of chicks with dicks increases exponentially on All Hallow's Eve.

Speaking of (oh we kid, we kid), Star Trek's George Takei, as you have no doubt heard 8 gazillion times by now, has come out to SoCal gay rag Frontiers magazine. This news is nothing short of earth-shattering. Not that he's a homo duh, our grandma knew that but that Frontiers would ever scoop national headline-making news. Have you ever seen this thing? A typical feature is 'Cockrings: Jelly Vs. Stainless Steel, the Experts Weigh-In.' Way to go guys! You're movin' up the big-media ladder!