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• Daily News publisher and editorial director Martin Dunn calls employee Lloyd Grove a "fucking idiot" with a "stupid" column. Christ, we don't even talk like that! Grove, however, bends over and takes the abuse — and probably likes it. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, Lloyd doesn't help his case by calling the upcoming Johnny Cash biopic Ring of Fire when it's actually Walk the Line. Alas, the harsh permanence of print journalism. [Lowdown]
• Newsflash: Celebs carry guns and probably want to shoot you! [Page Six]
• Should Janet Jackson be more upset about a video of her sunbathing semi-nude that's currently circulating the interweb, or would it be the secret teenage daughter that's really bugging her? [Scoop]
• Actor Omar Sharif gets wasted, mercilessly beats valet. In Shariff's defense, the valet was Mexican. [R&M]