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Seth here, with wonderful news! Mark (CDC code name: Patient Zero) has come down with a nasty case of bird flu*, and so I'll be guest editing for the rest of the week. I couldn t be more thrilled to be back here at Defamer.com Bathroom Reading for Your Cubicle (or vice versa, for all you Sidekick-wielding on-the-/gotta go types).

The theme I have chosen for this visit is convergence, what with the exciting introduction of the new iPod and um could you excuse me for one moment? I just have to tell my assistant something

NO, ZACH. You tell those little NUTSUCKERS at Dan Tana s they ll take me at 8:00, not 6:00, and if they don t LIKE IT, I m one MOUSECLICK away from renaming this thing DanTanasSecretIngredientIsRATSHIT. DOT COM.

Back again! Sorry about that. Fax was out of toner. What was I saying? Oh right, some crap about iPods. Listen I got a 9:30 kroissant klatch at Barney Greengrass with a couple stiffs from The New Paramount they want to talk about a project they re developing for summer 2009, some Harry Potter meets Bruce Lee bullshit, Maddox Jolie tapped for the lead. Can we pick this up later? You re the best. I ll have Zach call you.

*Joke. He is on vacation. Conserve your concern.