HuffPo Tackles Anal Play!
Hey, remember the Huffington Post? Maxim UK EIC Greg Gutfeld is continuing to wipe his hilarious drool all over the high-minded blog, and his latest post outlines his "new line of environmentally friendly sex aids." Some examples:
The RECYCLOPS!
Next time you tell Bill Keller to shove the New York Times up his ass, do so in the name of erotic pleasure. Create your favorite "one-eyed" buddy by recycling the newspaper of record into fully functioning dildos! Soak the paper in water, squidge into the cock-shaped Recyclops, squeeze down the handles to form a 13 inch dildo, remove the cone and leave to dry out. A recyclops can be used for up to an hour before losing firmness, and should not be shared. Note: This may be the only way to bring a Frank Rich column to a satisfying climax.
HUFFPO ECO-BALLS
When you're doing laundry, Huffpo eco-balls produce ionised oxygen that naturally activate water molecules, making for an efficient wash without detergents, saving water and energy by doing without the need for an extra rinse cycle! But that's not all. These soft cushiony plastic balls, consisting of differently large, elliptically formed elements which stimulate when introduced gradually and pulled out again, heighten the pleasure of an "intimate" massage, while also providing a targeted workout for the pelvic floor, and in a pinch, perform stop-gap bladder control (endorsed by Normal Mailer).
Having a sense of humor akin to that of a 13-year-old schoolboy, we love Gutfeld. And, having met blog-wrangler Arianna Huffington and listened to her talk anal, we know she's actually cooler than one might think. But we have to wonder: How long much longer will she allow Gutfeld to continue blogging? If she catches one of her daughters with a Recyclops, it'll already be too late.
