The Projectionist: Time To Blow Some Shit Up
Join us as we sacrifice our finest animal and run our greedy fingers through its entrails, hoping that our careful examination of the steamy guts helps us unlock the mysteries of this weekend's box office results:
1. Doom—$18 million
After weeks of suggestive fog, cute Claymation, and badly executed romantic comedies, the moviegoing public should be more than ready to enjoy the extremely prejudicial blowing-up-of-shit, even if they must share a theater with Doom's frag-crazy faithful. And could the Rock be any more darling, even clutching a BFG and splattering CGI demons? No, he could not.
2. North Country—$10 million
Why must Charlize Theron hate her beautiful, beautiful face so much? She already has the Oscar, so we get it—she's a serious actress now. She can stop making us feel like she's about to break the next mirror she sees and drag a shard across those cheekbones, finally releasing herself from the hellish prison of perfection.
3. Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit—$8 million
If someone doesn't get Wallace a girlfriend soon, it might start costing him some roles.
4. Dreamer: Inspired By A True Story—$7 million
Hollywood Fun Fact: Dakota Fanning was originally attached to star in Doom, but quite graciously bowed out when The Rock expressed interest in the role, knowing that her best years of gratuitous violence were still ahead of her.
5. Elizabethtown—$6 million
Elizabethtown's buzz is steadily building. We've heard several times that it's not quite the affront to moviemaking represented by Domino.