You'll Get Your New James Bond Tomorrow
Sony announced that it will end its torturous James Bond Edition of "Just the Tip In" tomorrow and finally thrust the name of the new tuxedo model deep inside the superspy's anxious fans. We've heard that the recent British tabloid chatter is correct: Kate Moss is a skinny-minny coke-whore. We kid! Daniel Craig will be named as the latest Bond, news that we find at least fifty percent less satisfying than the possibility that he porked Sienna Miller. We offer our premature congratulations to Craig, who outlasted a potential Bond field of Clive Owen, Jude Law, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Hugh Grant, Dr. Who, a plate of delicious fish n' chips, a joke about bad teeth, and, of course, Ewan McGregor.