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Addendum to this entry:

October 10, 2005: '"Only my boyfriend," replied the waitress without missing a beat.'

Borrowing a commenter's conceit, we have some further suggestions for a new Metropolitan Diary stock phrase:

"replied the cashier, his eyes glinting with impotent rage..."
"the driver, demonstrating a sociopathic lack of empathy, said..."
"and, desperately praying that I wouldn't submit this to Metropolitan Diary, the old woman said..."
"when suddenly the entire bus, as if seized by the need to stab a baby, burst into thunderous applause."
"'I don't even know her!' my son said, Allah Akbar."

Metropolitan Diary [NYT]
Earlier:
 Metropolitan Diary: Just the Punchlines