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In this edition of Gawker stalker: Martha Stewart and Robert DeNiro go shopping, John Ashcroft being a dick, Geraldo Rivera flying coach, Paul McCartney, Leo and Gisele, Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker, Adrian Brody, Jim Jarmusch, Anne Hathaway, Ivanka Trump, Gabriel Byrne, Patti Smith, The Game, Noel Gallagher, Beyonce, Dermot Mulroney, Rachel Hunter, Neil Patrick Harris, Kanye West, Eddie Izzard, Piper Parabo, James Gandolfini, Reese Witherspoon, Calvin Klein, Mike Meyers, Henry Winkler, Luke Wilson, Maggie G, Matt Damon, Glenn Close, Molly Shannon, Bob Balaban, Jason Segal, Alyson Hannigan, KG of Tenacious D, and Frederico Castelluccio of the Sopranos.

2 Recent suburban sightings: Martha Stewart, looking disheveled and trying really hard to be incognito, at the Bedford Hills/Mt Kisco, NY Target store. Yep, Tar-zhay. Not clear if she was shopping for herself or spying (her stuff's sold at Kmart). Also, Robert DeNiro at the Staples store on North Bedford Road in Mt. Kisco. I guess Bob needed some post-its that were not available in Tribeca???!?!?

My best sighting in awhile: walking to the local deli to pick up lunch (10/5) who should i pass standing by a fire hydrant in front of the new Random House building (Broadway 56/55)...John Ashcroft!!! He looked me over & gave a clear glare of contempt as we walked by (could it be my waist-length dreads or mohawked guy I was with?) 15 min later, he was still standing there in his navy suit & loud/power red tie...this time w/2 slimy suits, looking like they were massing to invade RH for a meeting. He stared @ us again & I smiled ear-2-ear saying 'hello'. He made a face like he was sucking a lemon....LOL (If I'd only sung a few choruses of his fabulous hit "Let the Eagle Soar"!) I still cherish/display my "With Friends like Ashcroft, Who Needs Enemies" bumper sticker & was so psyched to mock the enemy of the people in the flesh! That man just wreaks greed & meanness; he's a blue blood MoFo.

Tonight (10/4, good buddy) on a flight from Cleveland to Newark, saw a trim and relaxed Geraldo Rivera in coach(!) with wife and baby. Looking pretty good in Eddie Bauer. My wife, who was sitting right behind him, says no face lift scars behind the ears. G was friendly to the hoi polloi, including the rednecks who wanted a photo while he was trying to reclaim his gate-checked Bugaboo stroller on the jetway. Erica seemed normal and sweet, much like any other girl from Shaker Heights, but was rocking ginormous nursing boobies. They seemed into each other and the kid. G handled all the luggage himself. Truly a refutation of his reputation, right until they loaded everything into a chauffeured
Bentley with NYP plates.

Had I been faster I might have made this week's GS: Yesterday (10/3) I saw Paul McCartney pushing a stroller (with blond kid in it) down 57th St. across from Carnegie Hall. No Heather in sight, but a discreet bodyguard with slightly visible earpiece, trailing ten steps behind. Passersby were agape. Pretty bold, considering he's not twenty blocks from where John met his end...

Leo, Gisele, and a girlfriend of hers were able to enjoy dinner during a respectably tame response to their presence at Tomoe sushi on Thompson, north of Houston last night in NYC. They chatted about catching the movie, flightplan, and Leo gave advice to the ladies regarding taking various rolls. Leo showed up last minute, as Gisele and the friend were in line and about to be seated. It's nice to know that even celebs of that level have to deal with the painstakingly long wait at Tomoe just like the rest of us.

Possibly the most exciting sighting I've had in five years of New York living, which is both a testament to my love of the D-list and my near blindness when it comes to celebrity spotting. Saturday night I saw Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker dining with a bald-headed friend at a theatre district restaurant. I almost didn't recognize her at first as her hair is shorter than usual (about shoulder length, fairly straight) and also looked very brown (in the lighting anyway). When they got up to leave, saw that she was tinier than I expected (both shorter and thinner).

4:15 Tuesday, October 4th. Spotted Adrian Brody in the most unlikely of places, waiting in line for the Starbucks bathroom at 14th and 6th. He was wearing sunglasses, held his head down and talked on his cell phone, all while doing the pee-pee dance and waiting for the long-boweled woman who had gone in before him to finish up. He was handsome, not quuuiiite as tall as he looks in films, but definitely handsome. It's nice to know that even the occasional Oscar winner is subjected to the germ bonanza that is a Starbucks bathroom. Does he walk with a bit of a limp? He either limped, or did some sort of pimp style shuffle outta there.

Jim Jarmusch, replete in all black with black trucker hat to boot, flagrantly jaywalking across 8th street by cooper square (8th and broad?). No one else seemed to notice despite his rebellious behavior.

Perhaps not too particularly interesting. Saturday 10/1/05 witnessed filming of devil wears prada on Madison ave and saw Anne Hathaway bust ass after falling in stilettos filming a scene. No sign of Meryl though.

Was walking across Lex on 75th Sunday afternoon when I was almost taken out by a c-class (shoulda let him and then sued) turned around in outrage but only saw the passenger The Ivanka in coral glory with bling-y shades. Looks good if not a little plastic. Driver must've been her new man, otherwise she wouldn't have been shotgun, right?

Last Friday afternoon I spotted Gabriel Byrne in Brooklyn Heights at the Heights Cafe eating salad and chatting with a really pretty young blonde woman who looked like she could have been related to Cate Blanchett. They talked non-stop and they seemed to be really enjoying themselves (lots of laughing and at one point I think he was doing an impression for her). Definitely flirty. I thought she was a fellow actress until about an hour into it, when she pulled out a tape recorder and they looked like the conversation was getting more serious. An interview? Maybe. Anyway, he's still really stunning for a guy who's probably close to 50 years old.

Let me start by saying I love Patti Smith. I wore out my first copy of "Horses" on LP. If I weren't such a pussy, I'd have "Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine." on my arm. Having said that, I have to report that Miss Smith is looking baad these days. I spotted her shuffling down Houston Street at about 6:30 pm yesterday (10/4) being helped along by an assistant of some kind. She looked old and infirm. I hope it's a passing malady. But on the plus side, if she dies, I'll never have to listen to "People Have the Power" again.

After a rather difficult workout with my trainer at Chelsea piers, I come down the stairs to see about 12 big black guys wearing red. Look on the line at the cafe, and who is standing there but the rapper The Game, complete with tattoos and red sneakers. He ordered a panini (gangsta's choice, apparently) and sat with the entourage. Took a closer look, and realized he was also drinking the grape vitamin water - which is named after, and endorsed by, none other than his nemesis 50 cent. That was the funny part.

I ventured to Soho for lunch today, 10/04, and walked by Noel Gallagher on Greene and Prince Sts. He was by himself and wearing celebrity sunglasses, but was unmistakable. I immediately remarked to my roommate that I wished it was Liam and then she said "will you ever be happy?"

Is Beyonce in town? Cause I think I saw her leaving the ABC Carpet & Home store last night around 7 PM. She seemed strangely entourage-less, but she did have a black SUV waiting on the curb.

Saw Dermot Mulroney twice in 2 days. First at Columbus Circle, getting on the 1 train. Wasn't sure it was him because only got a brief glimpse and he's gone quite gray. Then saw him 2 days later on the way to my shrink on CPW at 95th. This time I had a fellow shrinkie on hand to confirm that it was indeed Dermot. The silver in the hair looks very nice, as does he. Smaller and slighter then expected, but still quite adorable and the body looks quite delicious, especially the butt.

On Friday after work, I saw Rachel Hunter sitting by the Laboratory Institute of Merchandising (53rd Street between 5th and Madison). She was reading a newspaper with a male friend. And Saturday night, I rode the elevator from the Mandarin Oriental with Jena Malone. She was going outside for a smoke break.

So, I am riding the first car of the C train coming back from some court-prescribed community service in Harlem - playing Tetris (I was up to 74 lines!) when we stop at 125th Street. Three men get on, and one races for the door window that looks out onto the track excitedly, yapping it up with his friends. I immediately recognize the voice and peer up to see Neil Patrick Harris and two of his cronies. While seeing Doogie Hauser, MD on the C train is amusing enough, the kicker was his discussion with friend about having Lance Bass over for dinner. Admittedly, Doogie was more interested in watching the track than chatting up his buds (They got off at 50th Street).

Saw Kanye West at Atrium on Saturday shopping with his girlfriend or some woman.

I saw Eddie Izzard in soho on Sunday evening at the intersection of prince and green, drinking a cup of coffee and chatting with a woman.

I had two very bizarre celeb sightings on Sunday. First during brunch at Schiller's Liquor Bar, I sat right next to a shlubby looking Piper Perabo, aka Ms. Coyote Ugly, sporting a hot pink elastic around her high ponytail. Later I headed over to Blick Art Store on Bond Street, and spied James Gandolfini hurriedly grabbing something in the kids aisle, and then rushing up the stairs. Couldn't tell what he was buying but I guess he didn't want to be spotted.

Saw Reese Witherspoon walking down 42nd on 10/3. She is about 5 feet tall and has a massive forehead.

Went to showing of Capote at the Angelika on Sunday night. Noticed that Calvin Klein was waiting outside of the theater, with cellphone to ear. He seemed to have been in same navy blazer that I spotted him wearing while on Spring St. last week. After we bought our tickets, CK had made his way up the steps and buying tix. Once inside, he got on line behind us at the snack counter, though once again on the cell. Was it an avoidance technique to keep fans at bay? Anyway, he was sooned joined by female "just friends" companion - by body language, for the Capote film. It was really a great film. While I didn't manage to forget that it was Philip Seymour Hoffman playing the lead, it did make me forget that CK was three rows in front of me. Couldn't tell if he was shocked or moved by the ending segment or not - and didn't bother to wait around and see.

Saw Mike Meyers huffing past Magnolia Bakery Friday (9/30) night around 8:30pm. Looks crappy.

Saw Henry Winkler at approximately 9 am this morning outside of Serendipity 3 on 60th between 2nd and 3rd Aves. He was surrounded by a camera crew and looked like he was about to be interviewed by someone that I did not recognize. Shorter than I thought the Fonz should be. But, hey, they always are.

Luke Wilson spotted on Prince St. with an attractive blonde. About eight minutes ago. It was hard to tell if he was as funny as his brother.

Saw Maggie Gyllenhaal in a beat up Saab convertible (very strange) headed west on Christopher street on Saturday afternoon. She was being driven around by a mystery man with blonde hair and light beard. The license plate was California. She was looking at a map and looking lost.

Spotted Matt Damon on Lexington around 12 this afternoon. He isn't that great looking, however he was dressed very sharply. Very GQ-esque.

10/3 on centre street in lower Manhattan at 1pm, walking past the courthouse at 40 Foley square, turned to my left to see none other than Ms. Fatal Attraction herself - Glenn Close — in very light blue jeans (yuck), brown blazer & big 'ol sunglasses, typing away furiously on her blackberry. Not sure whether she had official court business (after all, this is where Martha Stewart & Lil Kim were tried), but she was completely preoccupied with her blackberry and stood there for 5 minutes typing away and oblivious to all the gawkers.

Saw Molly Shannon at the Bleecker Playground 10/03 strolling her kid around with a homely female companion. Superstars got lots of freckles and a pointy nose.

10/01 Around 5:45 I was enjoying a pre-dinner drink at a restaurant on Smith Street in Boerum Hill when two thirty-somethings and a woman who appeared to be in her 50s climbed out of a VW station wagon that had just pulled up to the curb. Imagine my delight when Bob Balaban emerged from behind the driver's seat. He looks taller than one might imagine after having seen him in Best In Show, and older than he did when he did a turn a Russell the NBC exec on Seinfeld, but still good and instantly recognizable.

Thursday night, while passing through Grand Central Station, I saw my longtime crush from back in his Freaks and Geeks days, Jason Segal, doing an event to promote his new show: How I met your Mother. Also present were Neil Patrick Harris and Alyson Hannigan and the rest of the cast, but Jason was the best part so cute and so damn tall!! He was chatting with a super-cute girl who was almost his height, but I didn t recognize her. So, maybe a girlfriend? I don t know. They all seemed really nice, though, signing autographs, taking photos and chatting with people.

At the MOMA this weekend (10/1) my boyfriend and I spotted KG of Tenacious D not once but twice- the boyfriend was going into the bathroom as he was on his way out and they did the man-nod ("I know who you are and you know I know but we're brothers united by the urinal and so I'll pretend I don't know you.") He was telling me all about it as we walked into the next gallery and practically ran into the man himself. He was dressed like your embarrassing hillbilly cousin in an oversized black t-shirt with the sleeves cut off (creating gaping armholes that seriously went halfway down his torso) and black cut-off sweatpants. Looked happy with a pretty yet average looking blond woman- he had his arms around her as they wandered through the exhibit.

Also, last night passed Frederico Castelluccio (Furio from Sopranos) with two fat men at a little Italian place on 2nd and 75th . Had very puffy Bono-black hair and was facing the street scowling. Seemed peeved when I did a double take, but I thought he was Q from Star Trek. Anyway he should be flattered.