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Like a catty friend with a canny ability to compliment your dress while slyly calling attention to your saggy boobs, MSN Movies simultaneously celebrates/claws out the eyes of its favorite, most underrated actresses. Let the meowing begin:

Sarah Polley: "Passing her on the street, you might not give her a second glance. Almost anemic in her pallor, she looks like a thousand other delicate, coffee-house blondes..."

Toni Collette: "Collette's features are over the top, with eyes set too far apart, a way-generous mouth — and she gives an overall impression of size, sporting muscle and flesh that's functional rather than decorative."

Madeline Stowe: "With her white-china skin, scarlet mouth and mane of black hair, Madeleine Stowe would make a perfect Bride of Dracula...Her voice comes up from deep inside her, like a man's..."

Patricia Arquette: "Her voluptuous flesh has a density and weight that's not so much inviting as self-sustaining. The lilting, little-girl voice and unfocused blue of her eyes hint she might be stoned, sleepwalking or ... just somewhere else...a platinum blonde whose cold eye is always cocked for the main chance...As a distracted, overweight mom and lusty wife who "sees" killer scenarios, Arquette's sweet, half-in-another-world spaciness lights up TV's 'Medium'"

Jennifer Jason Leigh: "At her jittery worst, she makes you want to look away in embarrassment. But when this fierce actress gets it right, she's riveting."

If we didn't know any better, we'd think these quotes had been transcribed from a casting session for a part that eventually went to Halle Berry, that perfect little bitch.