Monday Morning Box Office: There's Something About Jodie
Without further—or, really, any—ado, your Monday morning box office numbers:
1. Flightplan—$15 million
Whenever an actor who's been absent from the big screen for an extended period of time takes a movie to first place in its first two weekends of release, it's our custom to declare that actor "Back". Accordingly, Jodie Foster Is Back. What does this mean to you, the bleary-eyed Monday morning blog reader? Frankly, nothing, unless you're Foster's agent; in that case, you must begin all phone calls trying to capitalize on this newfound heat with, "Jodie Foster is back, bitch." As in: "Jodie Foster's back, bitch. If you want Jodie to clutch Dakota Fanning to her bosom and protect the precocious tyke from a postapocalyptic biker gang bent on reclaiming the plastic bag of speed she mistakenly swallowed, the bidding starts at $30 mil."
2. Serenity—$10.1 million
Serenity's weak opening weekend bow might have been caused by the unfortunately timed release of Joss Whedon's grocery list to the internet, dividing the attention of the crucial fanboy base.
3. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride—$9.8 million
The success of Tim Burton's ode to necrophilia has spurred the quirky director to explore other sexual taboos through stop-motion animation; next up, Tim Burton's Barnyard Brothel..
4. A History Of Violence—$8.2 million
Viggo!
We got nothin'.
5. Into the Blue—$7 million
There's a definite bright side to the failure of Jessica Alba's Bikini Movie: We may be that much closer to Jessica Alba's Topless Movie, and, eventually, Jessica Alba's Tasteful Full-Frontal Movie.