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A Defamer spy grabbed her Trapper Keeper and infiltrated CAA's "Back to School" party last night, mingling among the drunk ten-percenters, drinking up their free booze, and gawking at their clientele:

Last night, CAA hosted its annual "Back to School" party at the Pacific Design Center. I will skip the boring details about hellish parking and puckish guest list Nazi monitors to just get to the good stuff. I am no great shakes at math, but there must have been 5,000 people at this party. Overall, it was mostly an industry D-crowd all too eager for the open bar (me too), but I have some excellent CAA-related celeb sighting: Kelsey Grammer and his wife Camille (drinking water, very fit and friendly), Parker Posey (cute black and white dress, had to shove by my friend who did not recognize her), Jason Biggs (way too skinny, holding court), Steve Bing (he looks like a ghost in person. Literally), Andy Miko...oh, hell, what's his name? The "kid" who's really 28 but has a growth hormone defect, the one with his own show who ain't funny. Also, uber-producer and Hollywood author Lynda Obst and director Eli (Cabin Fever) Roth. People I heard first hand who were there but didn't see: Hilary Duff, Drew Barrymore, and Dr. Sean from Nip/Tuck. When I was not star gazing, the life was being squeezed out of me in the Black-Hole-of-Calcutta crowd. And I almost punched some silicone boob job wench when she cut in front of me at the painfully overcrowded bar. But overall, a great evening. Thanks CAA!

Today, it seems that CAA continued its back-to-school celebration by dragging UTA it into the bathroom for a swirly and making off with its lunch money. The rumor (although Fishbowl LA sounds a lot more sure about it than we are) is that CAA has poached UTA agent Dan Aloni, whose clients include directors Tom Shadyac, Christopher Nolan, and Michel Gondry. Two months ago, the CAA gang popped Oota in the jaw and absconded with Will Ferrell and Dave Chappelle. What bullies! Pretty soon, they're not going to be able to go to the cafeteria without hiring a bodyguard.