The Projectionist: Maybe A Snake Ate Her Daughter
This will go down as the season a trio of gigantic bitches with names out of a Russ Meyer movie kill, killed the box-office: first Katrina, then Emmy, and now Rita. And don't forget our other local disasters: the blackout (I call that one "Tara Reid") and that citywide swampy poo smell (also, "Tara Reid"). But if we were to stay away from the megaplexes this weekend, the hurricanes and second-string awards shows would win! Get out there and fulfill the destiny of my Nostradamic, bone-chillingly accurate predictions:
1. Flightplan $28 million
Check this one out if your high-altitude jitters have worn off since living through the terror of The Landing of Flight 292. I myself am holding out for Jodie Foster's next project, the final installment of her 'confined, perilous space with daughter' trilogy: Gap Changing Room.
2. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride $17 million
Why not see this back-to-back with Just Like Heaven and make it a 'double your corpse-fucking, double your fun' weekend!
3. Just Like Heaven $9 million
In my dead Reese Witherspoon movie, Ryan Phillippe comes over to cry on my shoulder, leading to a bi-curious condolence-sex marathon. It's tastefully shot, though. Artsy-like.
4. Roll Bounce $8 million
They're already calling this one the The Hours of roller boogie nostalgia movies. If you can recite the ZOOM address ("Box 350, Boston, Mass, 02134!"), or hear the words Freaky Friday and think 'Jodie' (above), not 'Lindsay,' you're in the target demo.
5. The Exorcism of Emily Rose $7 million
I dunno, I'm thinking less courtroom bla-bla, more headspinning and mothers sucking cocks in hell. It's a personal taste thing.