Team Party Crash: Jenny McCarthy/FHM party
Jenny McCarthy and Mr. Kidding himself.
It's officially fall, love is totally not in the air, but nonetheless there's a new movie out called "Dirty Love," starring ex-Playboy model and tongue-waggler, Jenny McCarthy. The former "Singled Out" hostess is also on the cover of this month's FHM magazine(still publishing, apparently), which threw her a bash at Cain. We sent Gawker correspondent Noelle Hancock and shutterbabe Jennifer Snow to check out the scene, meet Jenny, and compare racks. (Details inside!!!)...
Cain's logo. Hey, it worked for trucker hats.
The last time I tried to report a Gawker party crash, I was escorted from the premises by three rather enormous men who looked like they would have gladly beat my ass and sent me the receipt. So, like the Shinnecock Indian tribe, I had reservations. But J.Co's love does cost a thing and that thing is a party crash report, so I eventually agree to go.
At first, the pole was reluctant to show its tits, but good friend Jack Daniels convinced it otherwise.
The guy on the left is really pissed he's not at home watching Lost.
First step: Research the movie and at Gawker "research" constitutes scanning imdb — always comic gold:
On the "Dirty Love" message board, "afijamesy2k" presents this simile: "This movie is about as horrible and silly as a gorilla at a Brooklyn zoo." Whether or not gorillas are "horrible" or "silly" is neither here or there. But why's it gotta be a Brooklyn zoo? Do the gorillas roll differently across the river? Maybe they start "intellectual" literary journals and go to Bruce Ratner rallies? afijamesy2k does not elaborate.
Meanwhile, "The Goatman" offers this missive: "Frank Zappa has a song called 'Dirty Love'. Great song, the poodle chews it." The poodle chews it. That really says it all, doesn't it? It also sounds like a NYT bestseller, to be reviewed by Michiko Kakutani in the voice of Cruella De Vil.
Keep those legs crossed until you find that nice boy who s ready to settle down, girls! (Spoiler alert: You won t.)
Clothing designer Chip Foster: Giddy to the point of concern.
It's not really a party until the Craniopagus Siamese twins show up.
Bio: McCarthy was a 1994 Playmate of the Year and appeased an audience of troglodytes as the star of MTV s "Singled Out." Next came the sitcom Jenny, until the Network Gods had a Kahuna burger, struck down upon thee with great vengeance and canceled the show, then came the inevitable horror movies, a pregnancy book called Belly Laughs (with pregnant Jenny on the front), then Baby Laughs (with Jenny and baby on the front). Recently divorced, McCarthy's next book will feature her on the cover surrounded by empty bottles of Olde English, under the title I Poured One Out for All the Fake Orgasms, A—hole.
The art of the subtle handjob.
Fall on her. Why didn't we think of that?
NYDN's Hud Morgan frenches a startled pomeranian.
FHM has invited to the party a bunch of detectives that are featured in an article in this month's issue. Do you think that when one detective says something ominous, the rest of them make the Law & Order "chung chung" sound? I sure would.
McCarthy arrives two hours late so, for the sake of time, I ask her for some movie highlights. There s a scene where I have a boob pop out of my dress, but I didn t want it to be gratuitous so it has puke all over it." Thanks for the visual!
The movie also stars Carmen Electra, who's now pedaling a striptease workout video. Okay. NOTE to girlfriends and wives: The whole appeal of strippers is that they're not you! While watching you dry-hump a pole has a certain entertainment value, it ain't keeping yo man from throwing down at Scores. That's just the way it is.
Jenny and her sister, Amy: Half the room is hoping for an incestual dyke-out session while the other half [looking around] eh, actually the entire room is hoping for this.
Dresses by Jessica McClintock, calm demeanor despite being seriously overdressed by Vicodin.
Once the cameras stop rolling, the girls on "My Super Sweet 16" will sit down for a discussion on the territorial implications of the potential war between Ethiopia and Eritrea. And shots of Puckers.
The movies "BASEketball" and "Python" notwithstanding, you can't help hoping Jen'll have a comeback and finally get it right this time. Kind of like buying a new Masterlock every fall, thinking that this is the year you'll get the 0-0-0 combination.
Ooooh, living on a praaaayer! I LOVE this song! This is my FAVORITE song, brah! SoCo and lime shots? Who's in?
Area Man Fucking Pissed, Dude
The burlap sacks say simple while their glares scream, I can t believe I m only making twenty bucks an hour!!! Oh, are those crab cakes?
Since Jenny needs to find herself a baller, I ask her to describe the ideal man without using the words "funny," "nice" or "smart." Those three are like the R,S,T,L,N,E of Wheel of Fortune, aren t they? Such a given they should be automatically included for free. "Honesty, no game bullshit, and romantic," she answers. "Gimme those and they re gonna get luuuuuuuucky every night!"
The love children of Pepe Le Pew and Betsey Johnson.
Casting call for The Office was last night, fellas. Shrimp?
So what s the dirtiest thing McCarthy's done for love? "I saw my 8th grade boyfriend holding hands with another girl, walked right up to her, grabbed her by her hair and dragged her down the hallway.
