Everything is Abbreviated
It's day two of asap, the AP's new "younger audience service," and we think we now understand it: Younger audiences like brief, totally inconsequential and news-free items on ridiculously overexposed "young" "celebrities."
Take, for example, this Q&A with Jonathan Safran Foer on the occasion of the Everything Is Illuminated film release. We're not really sure whether to blame AP or JSF to this exercise in imbecility, but, in truth, we're confident there's enough blame to go around:
asap: Do you think Elijah Wood looks like you?
JSF: I don't think he looks like me. I don't even think he looks like a human, the way they dressed him. But that's probably good, as it keeps you looking.
asap: Who would you have cast as yourself?
JSF: Alf, maybe. He hasn't been in anything good since his eponymous series. Is Jonathan Lipnicki still alive?
asap: Will we see your latest book, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close," on the big screen?
JSF: You're asking the wrong guy.
And... scene.
Somewhere, a single tear rolls down Walter Mears's cheek.
Five Questions for Jonathan Safran Foer [asap]
Earlier: Today's AP: Not Just For Old People Anymore