We've done you guys a real favor today. Just because we're feeling particularly charitable, we've gone through today's Times and found the 33 best words in the entire paper. It's all you need to read, really, to understand the day's news:

Mr. Weiner also liked the idea of leaving the race on his own terms, without actually losing a runoff, and living to fight another day. (He is 41 and has a killer metabolism.)

All the news that's fit to print — and some other shit, too.

Runner-Up Says He Quit With No Quid Pro Quo [NYT]