Lil' Kim's 25th Hour
On Monday, Rapper Lil' Kim will begin serving her year-long prison stint for lying under oath during a case involving gunfire exchanged between her associates and that of rival hip-hopista Foxy Brown. How, we wonder, will Kim spend her last days as a free woman?
• Playing with her coochie, one last time, when she's up in the tub.
• Rolling around in a pile of the Notorious B.I.G.'s fur coats.
• Attending fittings for her Marc Jacobs prison jumpsuit.
• Enjoying a final breast-jiggle from Diana Ross.
• Looking up the word "perjury" in order to understand what the hell happened.
• Upping her body's silicon content, so that she might keep herself amused by bouncing off the prison walls.
• Deciding on a single hair color to sport for the next year.
• Shoving as many Vuitton items as possible into her anal cavity.
• Familiarizing herself with The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas.
• Visiting Judith Miller.