NYDN Destroys 'The O.C.' For Innocent Idiots Everywhere
You know what, Daily News? FUCK YOU. Seriously. We're in the middle of dark times right now — natural disasters, bumblefuck leaders, NYC in the throes of EDGY — and, to be honest, we've very little to look forward to this fall. But we're total 'tards, and so we've had one beacon of joy lately, and that's tonight's return of Fox's soap-opera-on-crack, The O.C.
We don't talk about it much, mostly out of shame and embarassment for this bona fide obsession of ours, but it's true: We salivate at the opening chords of the show's Phantom Planet theme song, and everything for the next hour becomes one big, orgasmic blur. So, you know, we were pretty excited about the season three premiere. We resisted dorking out on message board spoilers and waited, patiently, for today. We wouldn't even watch commercials for the show, lest it ruin tonight's bowel-soaking joy.
And then the goddamned Daily News had to go ahead and tell us, albeit in minor detail, the immediate fate of a character who had been shot at the end of last season. Not a huge spoiler, but enough that it answered one of our major questions. Just like that, our night's ruined. So fuck you, Michael Cooke, and your band of insensitive bastards. Tonight when we drink ourselves to death, we'll be toasting to you.
