You, Too, Can Be a Federal Agent at Large
Peripatetic mystery man Bucky Turco directs our attention today to the recruitment site for the DEA's New York office. (We have to assume this was a know-thy-enemies initiative on Turco's part.) We'll ignore for the moment the Freudian implications of the introductory animation, which flashes the word "diversity" while a white woman shoots at a target, and move to the first list of questions, designed to determine whether you meet the minimum requirements to be a DEA special agent.
You have a bachelor's degree?
You are a U.S. citizen, and reside in N.Y. state?
You have a current, valid driver's license?
You are between 21 and 36 years of age?
You are willing to accept assignments anywhere in the world?
You are physically fit?
You are able to pass a background investigation and obtain a top secret security clearance?
You have never been convicted of a felony or a crime of domestic violence?
You have never used any illegal drugs beyond experimental use of marijuana?
We're amused that the local DEA website talks like Travis Bickle: You have a bachelor's degree?
And we're even more amused that the local DEA is apparently fine with some recreational toking. (Which we'll have to remember to tell the neighbors next time they complain about the, er, aroma.)
We love New York.
