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Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put “privacywatch” or “sighting” in the subject line, to help us find them later) and let the world know Slyvester Stallone is shopping for a tiny dog.

In today's special live-music themed episode: Jake Gyllenhaal, Kirsten Dunst, and Jason Schwartzman; Weird Al Yankovic, Kirsten Dunst, and Jason Schwartzman; Jack Black; Jack Black, Charlize Theron, and Stuart Townsend; Charlize Theron, Eddie Kaye Thomas, and Nick Swardson; Tobey Maguire, Seth Green, and Macaulay Culkin; Reese Witherspoon, Macaulay Culkin, Seth Green, and Scott Caan; Jack Osbourne, Beck, Mischa Barton, and Maura Tierney; Sofia Coppola; Orlando Bloom, Claire Forlani, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman; Orlando Bloom and James Woods; Will Arnett and Mandy Moore; Mandy Moore and Seth Myers; Lindsay Lohan, Adam Brody,and Hilary Duff; Lindsay Lohan; Chris Kattan and Ashlee Simpson; Peter Gallagher; Cuba Gooding Jr, John Cho, and Johnny Knoxville; Sylvester Stallone; Heidi Klum and Seal; Mena Suvari; Samaire Armstrong; Gwen Stefani; Lionel Richie; Tyra Banks; Josh Charles and Donatella Versace; Sharon Lawrence; Tracy Morgan; Julianna Margulies; Michael Rosenbaum; Ed Begley Jr; Louis Lombardi; Kenny G; Trishelle; Alexis Arquette

· Spied Jake and Kirsten in the Wiltern lobby Thursday night while Bens Fold Five cult members were cavorting with each other inside. Jake bought a t-shirt (hopefully the one that said "better pray for your sins" on the front, "the gay messiah is coming" on the back.) Since they arrived at the end of Ben's set, I assume they were there to see Rufus "my hair could be the spokesperson for Pantene" Wainwright. Also there was Jason Schwartzman. Um, yeah.

· Standing behind me in the roped off VIP section last night of the Ben Folds/Ben Lee/Rufus Wainright show @ the Wiltern was Weird Al Yankovic and Kirsten Dunst. Unfortunately it didn't appear they were together. Spending more time in the lobby than watching the acts was Ben Lee's BFF Jason Schwartzman. As far as the music goes, Ben Folds stole the show!

· At 5'9" I'm pretty tall for a female, but am constantly frustrated at the tall dudes that I never meet in real life, but only see while they obscure my view at local rock shows. So the other night I'm at Spaceland trying to watch The Moon Upstairs and the Silversun Pickups when the Croatian Basketball Team (at least I think they were...where else do you see a large group of 7 foot tall white dudes but at a rock show in the front row) show up and block my line of sight AGAIN. As I turned around to leave for a better vantage point, at breast level I see the scruffily dressed and seemingly bummed Jack Black. Dude...he is SHORT. People kept approaching him and he seemed a bit annoyed to have to talk to them during the show. He can't listen to the show, he can't see the show...damn, can't a hobbit get a break?

· 8/15 - saw jack black (trying to cop eddie vedder's old grunge look from the pearl jam days) at the opening white stripes show at the greek theatre. he looked like he left the school of rock set and went to the show.
8/16 - this time i saw charlize theron with her boyfriend stuart townsend at the second night of the white stripes at the greek theatre. (i know, i went two nights in a row - what can i say, i l LIKE the white stripes). the only person more beautiful than charlize theron in person is her boyfriend. he is HOT!

· A big night at the Arclight yesterday. Not only did I see American Pie's Eddie Kaye Thomas munching on a pre-movie sandwich in the cafe, but alternative gay comic Nick Swardson was taking in a screening of 40 Year Old Virgin. And to top it all off, who did I see driving out of the parking lot in a black Toyota Prius, handing her validation stub to an attendant? None other than Oscar winner Charlize Theron, looking smoking hot as usual.

· Last night at White Stripes (8/18) I saw Tobey looking fat with his girlfriend hanging all over him. Also Seth Green and Home Alone were there together with no obvious female attention coming their way.

· I was at the White Stripes concert on Aug. 18. I spotted Reese Witherspoon sans Ryan but with a gaggle of gal pals. She was wearing a black beanie trying not to be noticed. Macaulay Culkin and Seth Green were talking together in a corner near the entrance to the orchestra area but they escaped into the pit area after being approached by some teen fans. Both Culkin and Green appeared a little blasé about the whole concert. Scott Caan was also in the pit. He looked like he was having fun taking lots of photographs during the performance.

· At the extremely loud and incredibly rocking White Stripes show last Wednesday spotted the newer faster slimmer Jack Osbourne wandering into the hospitality tent. Silverlaker Beck Hansen traipsed up the street to join Jack and Meg onstage and a good time was had by all.
- Out on a double-date on Friday night at The Dime and a girl with a large pretty face and really really good skin entered the bar. I took out my celebrity radar kit (good skin is a key indicator unless you are looking for Cameron Diaz) and I looked at her, she looked at me, and then we shared a moment. Despite our obvious and instantaneous connection I confessed my spotting to the girlfriend, "that looks a lot like Mischa Barton." My purse-fiend significant other then declared, "That IS Mischa Barton. I recognize her Chloe purse." Anyway, Mischa continued her jealousy-making charade by parading around her tall gay celebrity stylist friend Johnny Wujek (I hope Brandon is reading this for her sake) but it was her look-alike sister who really shook her groove thing to the DJ's Top 40 hip-hop mish-mash. On the way out bumped into Mischa and told her I liked her purse and she said thanks. It was electric.
-Spied fellow Sox fan Maura Tierney in the beer line at the Sox-Angels game on Saturday. The scrubless husky voiced Tierney had a Sox lid on and kept her eyes on the TV to keep up with the game (superfan!). I think she was with her husband and at one point she was complaining about her agent. I'll let someone else figure out who that is so maybe we can get another picture of Ari Emanuel on this site.

· My realtor friend and I were hosting an open house in the Hollywood Hills; it was pretty dead since everyone's out of town & we were going to pack it in early BUT THEN a blue Porsche Carrera pulls up and out pops Sofia Coppola and two cute hip looking friends. They had mistaken our dump showing for a fancier one up the street, but of course we pathetically attempted to convince them they were actually at the right place. Unfortunately the fake wood floors and 70's wrought-iron balcony begged to differ, and they politely fled. Sofia was tiny, and had beautiful skin, no make up, t-shirt, jeans skirt and pink jeweled sandals, and definitely wants a house with a pool.

· While staying at the Chateau Marmont this past weekend, a virtual cornicopia of celebs. Friday , 8/19, saw Orlando Bloom walking in from his bungalow into the dining room. Was with an assistant-type girl (sadly no Skelekate Bosworth) and his cute black dog. Smaller than I would have thought, but dressed cute and had an adorable accent. Same night, same dining room saw Claire Forlani, or as my boyfriend noted, the girl from Meet Joe Black. Has she been in anything else? Pretty face, was with a small group, and was seriously skinny. Like, her ass was 10 inches wide. Finally, on Saturday morning 8/20, in the lobby was one bitched out Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Sounded EXACTLY like he does in film, looks just as redheady and chubby. Was a little pissy about "Paramount paying the bill". Tried to restrain myself from asking him if it had not occurred to him, Dude.

· orlando bloom at the dog park arriving in a black limo. 14 yr. old boy skinny with tons of hair piled on his head in a granny bun and wearing a longsleeved hooded sweatshirt in the 80 degree heat. put his dog in the park then walked around the parking lot talking on his madonna-headpiece cell for 45 minutes before being driven away. james woods hitting on a 20ish young thing. his opening line was "what does your t-shirt say?" while staring at her boobs. also went into detail how he "avoids the paparazzi in europe by stopping and giving them the picture they want". question : what paparazzi want a pic of james woods? maybe the ones who read how much he sucked in "pretty perusasion".

· Was at the new Upright Citizens Brigade theater on Franklin Sunday to catch ASSSSCAT with Amy Poehler and Seth Meyer, and who was in the audience but Will Arnett (not much of a surprise as he is married to Poehler) but also teen singing sensation Mandy Moore. Yes, the woman that gave us 'Candy." Boy is she tall.

· Leaving Star Shoes after the DJ stopped playing anything decent at about 1 am when in walks Mandy Moore with either Seth Myers from SNL or his brother from Mad TV, no clue which one, and about 4 other people. Mandy had on a great green dress and long blonde locks. She's really tall, and as my boyfriend pointed out looks good without looking like a skeleton. They headed straight to the dance floor while one of the guys got them all drinks.

· Last friday at The Griddle (where else these days) spotted Ms. Lindsay Lohan with a few friends eating lunch. Not to be "mean", but "girl", you have like a trazillion dollars- don't you have somebody to at least wash & comb your hair? She was super tiny but was eating a plate of egg whites and hash browns. Go
carbs! As we left the Griddle, Adam "O.C" Brody took over our booth. Thinking our celeb sightings were over for the day we sprinted over to the Virgin Megastore to pick up some DVD's and saw Hilary Duff sitting by herself outside the coffee shop on her blackberry, sidekick??. Then it dawned on us..must be Teen Choice Awards weekend!

· Sighted: Lindsay Lohan and her posse at Sunday's Coldplay concert at the Verizon Wireless Ampitheater in Irvine. Was sitting seven rows back, looked about as skinny as your pinkie and was chain smoking like it was going out of style. Stopped to take photos with fans, sang along to all of the songs and was taking quasi emo my space photos with her friends during the last couple of songs. Her and her posse made a quick quick dash out of the show after the last encore, heading into a backstage area.

· Went to the Coldplay concert last night in Irvine (although Chris Martin insisted on addressing the audience as "Los Angeles") and had the fortune of having two celebrity sightings on the hike from the parking lot to the amphitheater. It took me a few minutes to realize that the excited little man walking in front of me on the way there was none other than Mango, Chris Kattan. Whispers of "hey it's Mango!" must've made him nervous because he started walking a different way toward nothing but trees in order to deflect any more talk of his being there. Did he expect the paparazzi to jump out for him? I also came across Ashlee Simpson in the bathroom with two friends. She was wearing a black cap to conceal her identity, I guess, but is more recognizable now with her blond-again hair. I consider myself luckily for spotting the two since the concert was less than memorable.

· peter gallagher and family patiently (no, really) waiting for our parking space in the 2nd street garage in santa monica.

· Cuba Gooding Jr. with male friend having lunch at HOOTERS in Santa Monica on a Tuesday afternoon. John Cho ("Harold" from Harold and Kumar go to White Castle) at Laemmle's Fairfax Cinema checking out "Broken Flowers." Johnny Knoxville with two hot blondes at the Burgundy Room Friday night.

· So, I had to kill some time while cruising from the Valley to the Westside and I stopped at the Top Of Beverly Glen. I went into the pet shop to pet the li' poochies when all of a sudden I hear a most recognizable voice say "Hey - you got any of of those mini chihuahas? You know the ones that Paris and Nicky have?"... Rocky, is that you? I ponder in my head... It was none other than Sly Stallone himself shopping for the latest Hollywood accessory, the mini - puppy. I believe it was for his kids, but regardless he continued to chat up the pet shop owner in that deep booming voice (which sounds even funnier when talking about mini chihuauas). He looked leathery, but uber buff. All in all, I jetted before this surreal moment went on any further..

· Walked past Heidi Klum and Seal with their kid (and another on the way i guess) while they were dining al fresco at Il Forniao in Beverly Hills today. They appeared to be having fun while a couple of ratty looking paparazzi clicked away from across the street. Everyone else was largely oblivious to them...

· Saw Mena Suvari at George's Greek Café in Long Beach on Saturday nite. My GF walked past her on the way to the bathroom and was shocked, since the Suv was as big as an 8 year old girl in a Barbie-sized track jacket. She ate only a small salad with no olives.

· On Friday, I was getting my usual 3 PM Coffee Bean fix in Studio City when I saw one of the skinniest women I've ever laid eyes on. Nicole? Nope. Hohan? Think again. It was Samaire Armstrong, guest star extraordinaire on "The OC" and "Entourage." She is tall and SO THIN. She's sporting the bleach blonde Mia Farrow pixie cut, which actually works with her punk-ish style. But, Samaire, eat something!

· Early Wednesday evening, I was at Poinsettia Park in West Hollywood, warming up my body and girding my psyche for a brisk jog to the apex of Runyon Canyon, when from a distance, I noticed what appeared to be a phalanx of she-males/drag queens strutting inside the park. During the twilight hours at Poinsettia Park, this is commonplace. They come to defile the pristine L.A. County Department of Parks and Recreation bathrooms where they primp for an evening of slaking showbiz professionals’ thirst for homoerotic tomfoolery. But these particular she-males/drag queens were different from snaggle-toothed ones with cigarette burns and contusions ornamenting their arms and legs. These she-males/drag queens looked kempt. In fact, a particular one caught my attention. She was trudging along in high-heeled clogs and had frizzy, Cloroxed blonde hair sort of in the style of Roseanne Rosannadanna, eye makeup applied as if it were spackled on by a soused mason, and a gaudy outfit that
would’ve made Liberace wince. At least, this she-male/drag queen reined in the exaggeration by not stuffing his chest, for he had no discernible boobage. Then as the she-male/drag queen got closer, I realized, she wasn’t a he, who had his reproductive appendage sundered in Sweden. She was a legitimate, XX sex chromosome carrying she. In fact, it was none other than the shrill chanteuse of “Talk Talk” tribute band, No Doubt. It was Gwen Stefani! The mortal enemy of melanin was there on a photo shoot with similarly dolled-up dames. The buzz of her presence was palpable. Everyone practically stopped their various activities to gawk at her like slack-jawed yokels. She seemed to be in a really pissy, surly mood, perhaps due to a hormone imbalance piqued by her monthly cycle of endometrial wall sloughing. Or maybe she felt dyspeptic from a bad batch of spotted dick prepared by Limey hubby, Gavin Rossdale. Or maybe she was miffed that Gavin has been performing more like Gavin McCloud in the bedroom. Whoa, the pain of existence, Gwen!

· At the Grove yesterday (8/17), I saw Lionel Richie with a very tall, thin, dark-skinned Asian woman (definitely arm candy!). Although Lionel Richie was wearing sunglasses, he’s still very easy to recognize. They were walking fast and talking intently. He looks rich (probably because he is).

· Tyra Banks was scouting and sampling at the Western Foodservice Expo today (Sunday 8/21) at the LA Convention Center. It's like she tells the top model wannabes: she's paid her dues, so she can eat what she wants. They can airbrush her picture later. She looks great in person, and the forehead doesn't seem so absurdly huge like it does in print. She was rocking some really rad sun yellow trainers that I couldn't
catch the maker of. So is she opening a restaurant or what?

· 08/20, Saturday Fred Segal: Josh Charles in the restaurant, nothing interesting about that, but then Donatella Versace in the men's section. She is quite a sight; she scared one of my daughters. Her face looks like it's melting in the sun, and her jeans looked shamelessly close to being acid-washed (and not in an ironic way).

· ok this is sad that this is my first sighting email to you; i see so many fun folks. however, last night i saw sharon lawrence (most recently the ho on Desperate Housewives) at the ACLU final-screening of six feet under's finale. the only reason i mention this is because i saw ms. lawrence perform at the Capital 4th of July red white and scary thing on TV and i felt very bad for her (i mean barry bostwick is the host... the company we keep, sharon!). in any event she looked fantastic in a sheer green top and white pants (i know, move on) and i was wrong to judge her so harshly. let that be a lesson to us all: they may look like fools on holidays, but day-to-day some of them look quite nice.

· I was at a Bday party 8/16 at Saddle Ranch (Cough Cough), it was karaoke night and Tracy Morgan, looking pretty drunk, did a few songs up stage, Sugar Hill Gang and an old Snoop song I think.

· I was having a business lunch at Le Pain Quotidien in Beverly Hills on 8/16 and sitting across from me was Julianna Margulies (ER)...eating salad and chatting with a companion. She looked beautiful!

· I love reading this feature and I finally have something to submit. Saw Michael Rosenbaum, aka Smallville's Lex Luthor, in all his bald glory at Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica last Saturday, 8/13. He was with two friend types - one male, one female, and was sporting, of all things, a Three Stooges t-shirt. I think he was stalking us. We saw him first at Restoration Hardware, then he followed us into the Lucky Brand store. We hightailed it when he showed up at Barnes & Noble, and finally lost him outside PF Chang's. He looked very hot. Pale, but hot.

· I was at the Studio City CPK last night (8-18) when I saw Ed Begley Jr. feeding his mini-Begleys. This would be wholly uninteresting save one thing: 1. The last time I was at this CPK I saw Ed Begley Jr and in fact remarked to my dining companion as we walked in the door "Hey, remember last time we were here? We saw Ed Begley Jr." And there he was in all his white blond glory. Apparently Mr. Begley Jr. has a penchant for reasonably priced California fare, rolling up in his electric car, I presume.

· O.K., Sunday, August 21, 2005, I decided now that Skank Spears, K-Fed and their Pellet Gun Patrol have left Ocean Park and moved to the 'bu, it might be safe once again to walk the dogs down to the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Main Street in Santa Monica. When the Skank was around, the Paparazzi and she hounded that location, so we stayed away. But I digress. Anyway, sitting out front, by himself, was a "BIG" guy [emphasis on the big], who may have been in his PJs (I'm not sure, but on Main Street there is no dress code), who laughed at my dogs (they are kind of a funny pair). I smiled and nodded at him "using the too cool for school look" to avoid dog embarrassment, and kept on walking, but then I realized I knew the dude, but from where????? Then it occurs to me, it was the lisping Edgar Stiles, who was Chloe's computer geek buddy at CTU on "24" last season (they never bonked, but we kept on hoping - lord knows CTU seems to have plenty of unmonitored broom closets perfect for a bonk). I had to Google him back at the hacienda to figure out his real name is Louis Lombardi. Perhaps the lamest star-sighting of all time, but he twice saved Hell-Ay from certain nuclear holocaust last season on "24", so I think he deserves a shout-out.

· Not that anyone really cares, but I managed to take a pic with my cellphone of Kenny G. going through security at LAX 8/17. What really is disturbing as I sit at the computer fighting a two week China trip jetlag (it is 4 AM, after all) is this video I just saw by The Backstreet Boys...they are like 80's rockers in this piece?!?! Out of the countless hours I have spent watching mainland Chinese television (pig-faced emperor kung-fu sitcoms,etc.), nothing I saw there compares to the horror I just witnessed.

· I saw Trishelle, of Real World/Surreal Life/Kill Reality (Kill me!) "Fame" on the patio at the Coffee Bean on Sunset and Fairfax oon Saturday or Sunday of last week. I go to this Bean all the time, and normally am involved in my work or book or whatever I am doing, But, when I heard this girl next to me loudly announce, "Hi, I'm Trishelle!" I had to stop what I was doing and get a good look at Chickanista. Although put together in that Trendy Peasant Skirt/Oversized Sunglasses/I Wish I Was An Olsen Twin Sort-Of Way, she was Sooooo LOUD. And, she new every single guy on that patio that afternoon! And there must have been, like 15 of them. I go to this coffee shop all the time, and maybe I know five. I overheard her saying to one guy, "Oh, her? Well, she sleeps with everyone!" I wondered if she was talking about herself in the third person.

· Saw the always gorgeous in drag Alexis Arquette at Mickeys in WeHo last Monday Night. My boyfriend and I stopped in for a drink and there she was looking pretty as a picture in full peasant girl drag filming some of her friends on stage. Couldn't tell if the blond twink following him/her around was her/his boyfriend or girlfriend.