The Projectionist: Attack Of The 40-Foot Virgin
It's time to spike that lunchtime Diet Coke with some 80-proof happy juice and start thinking about quitting time. In the meantime, here's our best guesses about how you'll spend the only part of your weekend that matters to Hollywood:
1. 40 Year-Old Virgin—$26 million
The R-rated box office pump has been primed. After weeks of enduring the Wedding Crashers heroes having sex with vulnerable girls, audiences are probably ready to watch Steve Carrell chase his first time like an awkward puppy. Enjoy him now before the backlash begins in earnest on Monday morning.
2. Red Eye—$17 million
You heard it here first: Rachel McAdams is the new America's Sweetheart and Hollywood's new It Girl. How do we do it? What tipped us off? The $160 million Wedding Crashers has taken in, having two top five movies this weekend, or a blurb we probably read in Entertainment Weekly six weeks ago? We'll never tell.
3. Four Brothers—$13 million
Note to Jude Law's lawyers: Mark "Marky Mark" Wahlberg's enormous Boogie Nights penis was a prosthetic, but your client's all-natural nanny-probe is undoubtedly way, way bigger.
4. Skeleton Key—$9 million
Here is a link to headlines about Kate Hudson "unlocking" various things.
5. Wedding Crashers—$8 million
It's been a good run, but it's time to start thinking about the inevitable "unrated version" that will hit the DVD rack. Maybe they can include a home version of everyone's new favorite game, "Just The Tip In."