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While Tara Reid criscrosses the globe in search new and exotic places in which to stare drunkenly into a television camera and express slurred wonder at the local culture, our brother blog Gridskipper faithfully chronicles her overseas exploits. Last night's episode (which we watched, sober, bad idea) featured only one on-screen "Tara Drink," but the producers were obviously monitoring her off-screen beverage intake and had the good sense to keep their star on a balcony thirty feet above the running of the bulls on the Pamplona street below:

Tara Self-Loathing Index: Existential and very Hemingway. Over the course of the show, even though she refused to actually run with the bulls, Tara shames herself into unconsciously speaking as if she did participate. Note factual corrections in brackets: “So much that goes into this … and the running of the bulls is such a beautiful experience [that I didn’t have].” Or, “Absolutely, I’d [try to] do it again.” Or, “I just [did not have] the craziest experience!”

We recognize the incredible liability the Taradise producers would've incurred had they let Reid actually wobble among the bull-dodging throng, but couldn't they have put her in some kind of modified shark cage with a camera and a pitcher of sangria? Eh, maybe when her contract's closer to expiring.