Sienna Miller Pregnant With Jude Law's Handsome Baby?
Let's start the day off with some hard news, perhaps some fodder so that you might sound a bit more genius around the water cooler (unless, of course, you're stuck at Wenner media, in which case you don't have any water whatsoever*), shall we? Sienna Miller, the former fiancée of Jude Law, is reportedly six weeks pregnant with his large-headed child. Or so says AMI's Star magazine, and we know they're #1 in Celebrity Baby-Creation. According to our friends at AMI, Sienna and Jude announced the news to their family just two days before Jude came forth and confessed that he had an affair with his children's nanny.
We're not sure whether or not we believe any of this (although Ms. Miller does have a penchant for baggy, boho looks — perfect for hiding a tummy!), but we could certainly see how this played out: Sienna tests positive and gives Jude the happy news. Being a decent actor, he fakes his enthusiasm. Life is good. And then, late one night, he wakes up in a cold sweat. He just can't take the lies, no, not with a baby on the way, no, he musn't live this way.
Shaking, Jude takes out his laptop and, while Sienna and fetus peacefully sleep, he writes a mission statement. It's a confession, really, and it's addressed to Bonnie Fuller.
*It should be 94 today, but it'll feel like 105 . Hydrate your media babies, Jann, lest you kill them.