• Uzbekistan is one of two DOUBLY land-locked countries in the world (the other being Liechtenstein. We'll give you a cookie if you can point out either on a map). Impress some authentic Uzbek musicians with your new-found knowledge of their home country at Tonic tonight, where they play with downtown collective Bang on a Can All Stars. [flavorpill]
• If you're pissed about the imminent New York City housing crash (when's that supposed to happen again?), or about the fact that you work 60 hours a week and can only afford a cockroach-infested 4th floor walk-up, here's your chance to vent: Ruth Indyk Lubick, vice president of Douglas Elliman, participates in a question and answer session tonight at Makor. Befitting of the real estate industry, you're getting royally screwed before you even do anything: it'll cost you 30 bucks just to get in the door. [TONY]
• Gameshow host, author, and self-claimed CIA spook Chuck Barris appears at Coliseum Books tonight to read from his first novel You and Me, Babe. Wear a trenchcoat and see if he gets uncomfortable. [Coliseum]