This week in the Times Book Review, resident bitch Joe Queenan seems to think so and goes so far as to declare Geraldo Rivera as more compelling than Hillary Clinton. Blasphemy! Once Intern Alexis finishes researching Queenan's hidden past, she touches herself with excitement over a letter to the Review from Bruce Springsteen. Rounding out the emotional rollercoaster is a teary look at Harry Potter, served with a shot of vodka. Alexis' review follows.

Letters

Not since Owen Wilson wrote a letter to the New Yorker have we been this star struck over a letter to the editor. In this edition of the New York Times Book Review, the Boss-man himself, Bruce Springsteen (of Rumsen, N.J.) responds to the Bruce Springsteen-athon of a few weeks ago and gets a little sassy, cursing like a sailor along the way. He writes: "The 'saintly, man of the people' thing I occasionally see attached to my name is bull——." Come now, NYTBR, you pissed the Boss off, the least you can do is let him say shit Write another letter, Bruce! Give us more fodder!

The Truth About Hillary
 By Edward Klein
Reviewed by Joe Queenan

In this rather funny review of Klein s Hillary-is-a-lezbot tome, Queenan spends the whole review defending his central thesis: "Klein has written a very bad book, but not anywhere near as bad a book as some of us would have liked. He then goes on to claim, that "As an expert on sordid non-fiction, I would not put The Truth About Hillary anywhere near the top of my list; it pales by comparison with Geraldo Rivera's sublimely vile autobiography, Exposing Myself..."

That's interesting... Because, Joe Queenan, we oddly, oddly, oddly remembered that you wrote about Rivera before, and, actually wrote this: "And, without the mediating force of a ghostwriter, Geraldo Rivera's Exposing Myself might have been really disgusting, not merely nauseating."

Looks like you didn't hate his memoir as much as you now claim you do. If you only found it "merely nauseating," as opposed to "really disgusting," why would it be at the top of your most hated non-fiction books, Mr. Expert on Sordid Non-Fiction, hmm? Revisionist history much!? We're not sure why this important and are unclear why we're mentioning this at all, but we did recently watch All the President's Men and we are almost positive we think we know how Woodward and Bernstein felt.


Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
 By J.K. Rowling
Reviewed by Liesl Schillinger

We were ready to breeze through another Harry Potter review and were yawning just thinking about reading Liesl Schillinger s review of the Half-Blood Prince, but it turns out that Schillinger s review was not dull, and in fact, was moving! Contrary to popular belief, we actually have feelings, and a little tear came to our eye when we read her closing paragraph:

Kings Cross station is now also linked to the suicide bombers who attacked London earlier this month. At a time when everyday life is increasingly charged with dark and deadly deeds, the temptation to believe that a good wizard is coming of age, a wizard who may vanquish the greatest evildoer, holds even more attraction. Give em hell, Harry!

Of course, by "tear" we mean "vodka" and by "eye" we mean "mouth." But take it from our liver, we were moved.

Adored
 By Tilly Bagshawe
Reviewed by Elissa Schappell

Schappell is disappointed that Tilly Bagshawe's new, supposedly "wickedly sexy" Hollywood novel is not wickedly sexy enough for her. She whines that "Adored" can be read "in full view of the lifeguard" and that "the only drugs models pop are herbal diet pills" and that the main character "gets plastered on apple martinis." Bring on the amphetamines and lines of coke being snorted off of pierced nipples! We agree with Elissa that the only way to live vicariously through fictional characters is to live to the hilt, to the max. How can we do that if they're already doing our daily routine of apple martini guzzling? Throw out the boredom with Tilly Bagshawe's ridiculous name.