Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Don't Touch Jay Leno's Car
Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com (putting privacywatch or sighting in the subject line helps make sure they don't get lost in our inbox) and let the world know that Mischa Barton's got a lot of junk in the trunk for a skinny chick.
In today's lazy, Friday summer episode: Jay Leno freaks out; Orlando Bloom, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Kirsten Dunst; Jake Gyllenhall, Kirsten Dunst, Nicole Richie, DJ AM, and Kelly Osborne; Jake Gyllenhaal and Ron Jeremy; Billy Bob Thornton; Chris Rock and Niecy Nash; Chris Rock; Donatella Versace; Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson; Jon Favreau; Pam Anderson, Courtney Love, Tommy Lee, Dave Navarro, Carmen Electra, Ben Mackenzie, Michael Vartan, Hank Azaria, Cuba Gooding, and Bill Maher; Courtney Love; Steve Tyler; Beck and Giovanni Ribisi; Giovanni Ribisi; Rob Reiner; Julian McMahon; Jared Leto; Mischa Barton; Nicole Richie, DJ AM, and Mischa Barton; Mischa Barton; Seth Meyers; Scott Speedman and Mandy Moore; The Donnas and Willie Garson; Ashlee Simpson and Hank Azaria; Juliette Lewis; Dennis Miller; Martha Plimpton and Trishelle; Stacey Dash; Da Brat and Clea Duvall.
· I saw Jay Leno at Pink's Hot Dogs off Melrose yelling expletives ("Are you fucking nuts?") at a teenager he found leaning against his car hood when leno returned from getting a dog. The kid apologized and Leno followed him for 20 yards screaming at him.
· Just finished lunch at AMMO on Highland (7/8) - Orlando Bloom eating with another cute guy on the patio looking good in a white tee and jeans with his long locks tied up in a rubber band...boy is lookin' good! Two tables down - Jake Gylenhall and Kirsten Dunst looking cute as ever - Both wearing big sunglasses, Jake wearing usual white tee and jeans...Kirsten looking bag lady chic in a peasant top and jeans.
· We had a couple of good sightings over the weekend: Jake Gyllenhall and Kirsten Dunst, poolside at the Roosevelt, natch. Friday afternoon. Jake was reading a script, looked to be normal sized, and handsome. Kirsten, reading Us Magazine, looks like a giant head stuck onto a bikini-clad pike. Question- WHY do they hang out there? Get your own pool, rich kids! Next day at Fred Segal, spotted Nicole Richie w/ DJ AM at the cafe outside. She had two small dogs with her and looked as if her emaciated face was trying to inhale her giant, bug-eyed sunglasses. Nice skin, though. Whilst shopping inside, Kelly Osbourne lumbered past in a dirty, frizzy black wig and some sort of floor length, all black........muumuu? Caftan? I couldn't be too sure but..... um...this is LA. It is always at least 80 degrees outside. She looked like she probably smelled homeless.
· Monday night. Dan Tana's. Dabney Coleman's usual booth. Jake Gyllenhaal and two bleached-blond chicks, all looking relaxed. A bit later in the evening, Ron Jeremy came in with a woman whose body may be entirely non-biodegradable. He peered into the smaller room, which had been pretty much taken over by our group. This seemed to disappoint him. He also seemed disappointed that nobody was rushing to seat him, or really paying much attention to him at all. (Yeah, hi, Ron. Ever been to Dan Tana's before?) There was also a guy who looked just like Martin Short, but wasn't.
· In LA a week and a half ago (6/25), lunch at Newsroom Cafe, Billy Bob Thornton at the table next to us. He was with two high-maintenance looking LA-ladies and a normal looking chick who I think was his wife?girlfriend? and his baby. Less scary and not as rough as I would have expected. Walked around the patio with the baby talking to some people he knew and barely sat down. Made eye contact with me and my sister and we were a little freaked out.
· Had a double, back-to-back sighting while at the Century City mall. Was at one of the outside tables in the food court, enjoying a chicken wrap and some pasta salad, when my friend and dining partner noticed a huge camera crew outside of the Brentano's (my back was to it) and pointed it out to me. We both wondered who/what it was for, and this being LA, I stated "Probably a reality show". My friend agreed, we shrugged and went back to eating. My friend, still watching the crew, then told me "It's Niecy Nash". Being that I'm a huge fan of both Reno 911 and Deputy Raineesha Williams, a bit of my pasta salad abruptly fell out of my mouth. [It was pretty funny, despite how unappetizing it sounds]. However, by the time I turned around, Deputy Williams and the camera crew were already in the store. Literally about 45 seconds later, after I'd recovered from my earlier food mishap and was in the middle of taking a bite of my chicken wrap, Chris Rock walks by and stares at me intently while I'm mid-bite. Initially, I only noticed him because he was staring so hard, but a few seconds later I realized who he was and asked my friend for confirmation, which she provided. Luckily, I was able avoid a second bout of celebrity-induced loss of dining decorum. He was alone and wearing a low baseball cap and sunglasses, in full "Don't notice me" mode. He headed to the AMC theater box office, waited on line, bought tickets and headed up to the theaters, where we saw him again (we were there to see a movie also) as he came out to grab something from the concession stand.
· Saw Chris Rock July 10th at the Century City AMC while passing out free movie passes (Yes, I'm one of those guys). A colleague and I were standing at the top of the escalator when a diminutive black man in a Yankees hat and shades noticed what movie we were shilling passes for: "Oh, "The Bad News Bears" - that's a rough one." It took me a minute to realize who it was, but when I did, I gave him the pound - couldn't have been nicer. Two minutes later he reappeared on the escalator, and looking at our downtrodden faces, kind of shrugged and said "It could be worse." Indeed it could. I could have been simultaneously watching "Pootie Tang."
· Hit the goldmine at American Rag on Saturday [7/9]: Donatella Versace, complete with a Versace-suited Italian bodyguard, both kids (daughter Allegra definitely has a serious Mary-Kate situation going on — there's no way she tops even 80 pounds, poor kid. Get her into a thingie ASAP, Donatella), and some hot guy that I hope she's nailing. Sadly, she wasn't barking orders or stumbling around in a drug-haze, nor was she trailed by half-naked men, a la the Maya Rudolph SNL version. In fact, she looked pretty good — I mean, she is still REALLY REALLY orange, and the hair is ridiculous, but she definitely looked healthy, weight-wise, and non-coked out. However, she was wearing the tightest pants [white to boot] I have EVER, EVER seen on a human being, EVER. She noted that the vintage selection at American Rag was not really to her taste, and even the usually blase staff seemed a bit atwitter.
· 7/10/05: A manorexic and sunglassed Adam Brody chasing after his brindle pit bull puppy Sunday evening at the Hollywood Dog Park - you know the one under the Hollywood sign where the rangers ticket for having dogs off leash? He was prancing (sadly yes, PRANCING) after his pink collared puppy. Rachel Bilson watched in an awkward 'don't notice me/please notice me' way, or maybe it was in a 'my Frye boots are too heavy to move' way. She stared vaguely in her true love's direction from behind her own sunglasses — which as my friend loudly pointed out, sadly matched Adam's. Sigh.
· I saw Jon Favreau at the Aero Theater on Saturday night, seeing Antonioni's Blow Up. Not a big sighting for me, because I see he and his wife at Peets (also on Montana) lots of mornings (where I also regularly see Luke Wilson, Madeleine Stowe, Amber Valetta, Paul Haggis and the occasional Steve Spielberg). But worth mentioning for two reasons: 1. He was chatting up the theater manager about the previous night's attendance for Hard Day's Night while we waited to be let in and 2. My friend spoke to him as they were crossing the street: she said something to him about his friend (Vince) now dating Jennifer (Aniston) - he told her that things aren't "always as they appear". Interesting because it ties into the theme of the movie we saw.
· Slow weekend in LA after a cool opening of Rokbar on Thursday night next to the old Las Palmas and future LAX. Pam Anderson was there looking good with her nipples poking thru her little gold dress. She was mostly hanging out with Courtney Love who looked atrocious and was definitely drunk or other. Tommy Lee was with them some too. He and Dave Navarro are both investors so they were mostly spending time with older suit-types. Carmen Electra was there with Dave and looked hot as ever in a slinky blue dress. Also saw Ben Mackenzie at Basque on Friday. That place is pretty lame and Ben didn't look impressed either at his table full of guy friends. Sunday night saw Michael Vartan at Skybar at his usual table upstairs. He was with a few friends including a buffed out Hank Azaria. Last night (7/6) went to the Cabana Room which is the old Sunset Room. The place looks great but the crowd was pretty below par for an opening. Only celebs I can recall are Cuba Gooding wearing a leather Members Only style jacket and Bill Maher. Sorry for the weak info but it was a slow weekend.
· I saw the chunky ex-queen of grunge at Cinespace last night (7/5) for the Annie show. The show sucked, but Courtney Love rocked. She was busting out of this blue shirt and too tight pants, smoking cigarettes (inside I might add) all night long. She came with an assistant/friend who was a little shorter than her, but had the same feria blonde hair and overweight frumpy look. The two of them were in the bathroom almost as often as they were at they're table - affording my ample time to follow Courtney around without actually talking to her. My 14 year old self was so proud of me.
· Saw Steven Tyler at the Fred Segal's on Melrose. He was the skinniest old man with the thinnest hair I have ever seen. He seemed very nice and was doing his jovial-monkey-smile, but was acting like he was on crack; asking the sales girl if they had "male shorts" and pacing up and down.
· Almost forgot Last weekend or two at Quality Food on Third Street, alt-rocker guero BECK and Face/Off s GIOVANI RIBISI sat down next to me with what looked like their girlfriends couldn t tell if they ordered the Chili Killers or the Crab Cake Benedict. Either way, they seemed to be enjoying themselves very mellow, laidback, no attitude refreshing!
· The wife and our little man head down to for Sunday brunch at Alcove, fully expecting to see Giovanni Ribisi there, as we always do. But... nothing. After brunch, we go to LACMA for the great, yet disturbing, Tim Hawkinson show, and lo and behold, Giovanni Ribisi is there with wife/girlfriend and daughter. I almost think he is following us. I never should have gone in for that free personality test...
· Sat night (7/9), Rob Reiner and posse at Cat & Fiddle in Hwood. He's not as fat as I thought, but still pretty fat.
· Just saw Julian "Dr. Doom/Troy" McMahon walking around the Paramount Lot this afternoon, which makes sense seeing as to how they shoot Nip/Tuck here. His appearance? Prett tall (around 6'4"), covered in make-up and quite effeminate. In tow? The obligatory and always unattractive ass-kisser/agent/manager who nipped at his ankles like a thirsty Chihuahua. No where in sight? Famke Janssen's penis. I'm here all week.
· this is kinda lacking somehow, but saw Jared Leto at the always-celeb-infected tapas-hole, Cobras & Matadors (Beverly Blv) last night (7/7). He looked dressed for a date, wearing a very respectably preppy sweater with a collared shit under and nice pants w/ usual shaved head and huge totally-confused-braindead-puppy-eyes. The date may have been disappointed because the place was packed at 8pm and after conferring with a waitress Leto resorted to hanging out outside & joining the Cobras-groupies in their long wait. He was text-messaging or blackberrying or something. A small, small, mildly glowly man, in the end leaving little impression on you
· so I was working the door at King King the other night (Wednesday, 13 July), when a couple rushed in past the security guy. I looked up to be all "woah woah, you need to pay!" when I became transfixed by the doe-face of Mischa Barton. she was obviously intoxicated and lucky for me my eyeballs weren't burned by the sight of her bloated bf, cause she was with another man! this dude was really cute, looked like a British football lad and held her close as she kept her head down and whispered to him. she was tall, gorgeous, clad in a jade-colored silk top and some skinny jeans. I really wanted to ask her where she got her bag...anyway, turns out they were just coming in through the back to cut through the venue to the hollywood blvd exit to avoid the paparazzi that were chasing them. is she trying to hide a new romance??? I smell a Star cover!!
· Total paparazzi riot — papariot? — at the normally low-key Joan's on Third Sunday afternoon. Nicole Richie (looking cute), DJ AM, and a pal ordered some food and then went to an outside table. I idly watched them, then realized that a bunch of photographers were lined up on the opposite side of 3rd St, their lenses focused on Ms Richie & friends. Very odd — I've seen that sort of thing across the street across from the Ivy, but never at Joan's. Then a lanky girl in shorts and big sunglasses walked past me to another outside table. After a beat, I realized it was Mischa Barton. The paparazzi realized it, too, and could hardly contain themselves. First one guy started rushing through 4 lanes of traffic to get closer to Ms. Barton, then his colleagues followed. Barton got into a car that had just pulled up, with the paparazzi sticking their cameras about 2 feet away from her face. She gave a lank "bye" wave to Richie and then sped off. I hope this kind of thing doesn't start happening a lot at Joan's — it's too nice and friendly a joint to turn into Us Weekly fodder — they're the only place in town that does a decent prosciutto-and-mozzarella sandwich.
· Sunday, July 10, I saw Mischa Barton at Joan's on 3rd. She was wearing huge aviator sunglasses, a tank top, (almost) short shorts and had what looked like a cute Springer Spaniel puppy in tow. She looked and walked like a tall, awkward teenager. Beautiful skin, but no muscle tone and, for such a skinny person, she had some junk in the trunk. She had to occasionally say something like "c'mon guys" when trying to step through the surrounding paparazzi.
· Seth Meyers was taking a run yesterday evening (Weds.) along Canyon Drive in Bronson Canyon. He must be in town looking for non-live work during the SNL hiatus. I also see Kevin Weisman (Marshall with the large head from "Alias") often getting some exercise along this same street, too. He seems to be fond of reading while he walks, a skill of which I'm very jealous. How does he manage to not trip and fall?
· While waiting in front of the new Upright Citizen's Brigade theater for Comedy Death Ray a very tan and way hot Scott Speedman (I'd still follow you to New York, Ben!) approached me and asked what the theatre was and what was going on. I just have that level of approachability that makes ex WB stars comfortable. I later saw him inside the theatre before the show (despite the proximity to the Scientology Celebrity Centre, I don't think he was an operative.) I also saw Mandy Moore being chased by a pack of tiny girls in hip clothing while shooting the feature "American Dreams"... boy, she sure is blonde now.
· A gaggle of The Donnas — not sure if it was all or most — were late lunching at Alcove on Hillhurst today. Saw Willie Garson (Stanford Blatch from "SitC") at the open house of a big freaky ramshackle property in my Hollywood nabe. He was with a few friends who drove in separate cars. When he was done checking it out he hopped into the blue Prius that I've spotted him in elsewhere, and rode off presumably to check out less creepy real estate.
· Just saw Ashlee Simpson working out at Sports Club/LA in Beverly Hills. She is much better looking than I thought she would be, and this new look works better than that faux punk rocker thing that was just ridiculous. Definitely cute and she doesn t have that soulless Stepford Wives-thing Jessica has. To remind us that she hasn t completely lost her edge, lil sis was wearing a T-shirt that said Don t Be Such A Bitch. I suppose once a faux punk rocker, always a faux punk rocker. From one Simpson to another, I also saw Hank Azaria working out. Ahhh, a morning you could only have in the 90210.
· Seen last week at the Arclight: Juliette Lewis. Her hair was all weirdly bleached blond and yet she was still totally adorable. She and her scruffy date were there to see Me & You & Everyone We Know but were on the wrong floor and the ticket guy told them so. As they scampered off, he called out after them: "I loved you in Christmas Vacation!" I was hoping Juliette would throw him to the floor and gnaw his head off, but she just beamed and waved.
· I was in Santa Barbara for the last weekend, and took a little drive around Montecito Sunday afternoon. On the side of the road in the opposite direction, I see someone cruising down the bike lane in a Segway. As I am thinking to myself — Who the hell rides a Segway? — he passes and I see its Dennis Miller, looking pretty scruffy, and very intent on keeping the Segway upright.
Trishelle (Trashelle of Real World and Surreal Life "I'm so in love with Rob" fame) with blond dude that looked familiar, but didn't recognize at Jerry's Deli in Studio City. They ate they chatted, they left. On our way out, we spotted Martha Plimpton putting her name down on the list.
· On Friday afternoon I spotted Stacey "who?" Dash having lunch on Larchmont at the place next to Village Pizza. In case yo'are wondering, she was the hot black chick who played Alicia Silverstone's friend in "Clueless", and later did the TV show as well (which Silverstone and Brittany Murphy passed on). Yes, I am compensating for a lame sighting with biographical information.
· Standing just behind the rope outside of Shelter Friday night (7/1), just about to be let in, when the door guy momentarily brushed me & my friends off to let in Da Brat. When I turned and told my friends who it was, the door guy shouted "You know she's really nice!" to which I replied "I know I didn't say she wasn't." It was weird & for a moment I thought he wasn't going to let us in because I had opened my big mouth. But he did a few minutes later. Da Brat didn't seem to be with anyone and she gave the door man a big ole' hug as if they were BFF. I thought I also spotted Bijou Phillips that night there as well, but after 4 or 5 drinks everyone starts to look the same. Sunday afternoon, 2:10pm showing of War of the Worlds at the Grauman 6 was Clea DuVall (Carnivale) and a female friend. Another patron told her she dropped something as we were waiting to enter the auditorium, causing Clea, her friend, myself, and said patron to scramble around looking for whatever it was that dropped. I didn't find anything so I gave up and went to find a seat. She's cuter in person than how they have her made up on the show.