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Dying to know who won the other night's New Yorker-Vanity Fair softball game? Of course you are. And because we're here to serve, we ferreted out a samizdat copy of Coach Dellinger's postgame wrapup. Seems it was a bad day for the monocle'd set:

Roger Angell's Spidey sense was tingling, and now we know why. Vanity Fair Won. Again. The Small Fries fought hard as could be. We played a scorebook-busting twenty-six players, and still it came down to just a few little pitchers: Their home run hitter hit two homers, for four runs, which happens to be the margin by which we lost. It was 7-3.

But there's still hope: The New Yorker takes on the Times next Tuesday and the Journal the following Saturday. So mark your calendars. We know we will.

(And, no, we don't know quite when or why we became so obsessed with New Yorker softball, either. After all, it's not like it's Radar we're talking about.)

Dellinger's full wrapup, and the full upcoming sked, after the jump.

Earlier:
 Today's Game: 'New Yorker' vs. 'Vanity Fair'
'New York' vs. 'The New Yorker'
Once More Around the Park
One of These Days, Gopnik, Pow! To the Moon!

From: Dellinger, Matt
Sent: Wednesday, July 13, 2005 7:50 PM
To: TNY Edit All; TNY Business All
Subject: alas

VANITY FAIR DEFEATS NEW YORKER, 7-3

Roger Angell's Spidey sense was tingling, and now we know why. Vanity Fair Won. Again. The Small Fries fought hard as could be. We played a scorebook-busting twenty-six players, and still it came down to just a few little pitchers: Their home run hitter hit two homers, for four runs, which happens to be the margin by which we lost. It was 7-3.

We were winning 2-0 after three innings. Mary Katherine "MK" Stump, an intern, and "King" Cole Louison, a former receptionist, scored those runs, pushed along by interns Christopher "Lillis" Meatto and Samantha "Samantha Fox" Fox. But it wasn't all kid stuff there in the North Meadow. No, no. Old hands Ben "Penguin toe" McGrath, Willing "Homer" Davidson, and Matt "the flake" Herman were snatching up balls in the in/outfield like pros. On either side of Herman out in the great green, Meatto and Jeb "The Sniper" Singer too were killing a fair amount of Vanity Fair joy. They had nowhere to go, it seemed.

Well, maybe one place to go. Top of the fourth: they popped a few singles through the infield but no big deal — McGrath took a knife of a one-hopper, faked at the runner and fired to first to get a hold and an out. And Matt "Spiffy" Diffee grabbed an long airball in left, and got it into the infield in time to stop a run. Two outs. Two men in scoring position. And? Here came VF's Justin Shepard, who ever-so-skillfully and cruelly knocked the ball deep, deep, deep into... right field — our (and any softball team's) Achilles heel. By sheer bad luck, it was Carolita "Catwalk" Johnson manning the station that inning. Startled by the sudden invasion, Carolita took a few wobbly steps back, her glove extending high. Sadly, this would amount to no more than a salute to the flying softball, which landed somewhere in Queens. 3-2 Fair.

The solid play resumed. McGrath, Herman, and Josh "babyface" Hersh were as effective at stopping the Veefers as they were at stopping us. Very little action at the plate for the Fries. Except for the at-bat of C. S. Ledbetter III. "The Third" had to jump away from a number of close pitches (In their defense, Ledbetter tends to crowd the plate, if you see what I mean.) But luckily "The Third" was well appointed and protected with yellow 99-cent sneakers and a battery of terry cloth accessories from the Reagan years. About the time he normally "accidentally" throws the bat while swinging, The Third got a piece of one instead and sent the ball barreling through the dirt right up the middle... to the pitcher. He was out.

In the seventh, a solo homer from Shepard and we fell a little apart. It was getting dark. The bright green ball came into play, for better visibility. But seeing a ball drop between outfielders or where the dirt meets the grass doesn't help you do much about it. Or maybe it does. Matt "slow burn" Dellinger, whose power-hitting streak seems long since over and who is not given to making dramatic pop fly catches, somehow managed to take a well-plunked Texas-Leaguer over his shoulder while running from second base into right field. "Outstanding," relieved pitcher Mark "the Slinger" Singer noted in the scorebook.

The final outstanding thing we'd collectively manage last night came from son Jeb Singer, who last week suffered offensive frustration, put it all behind him this week with a solo homer in the last minutes of dusklight. Deep into right field. Hah.

— There is none of you so mean and base, That hath not noble lustre in your eyes. Or is that tears, or pizza grease?

Dellinger

We're 5-5, .500, 50/50. It'll all shake out next week.

Tuesday, July 19 @ 7 pm
vs. New York Times
Central Park North Meadow # 11

coming soon:

Saturday, July 30 @ 11 am
vs. Wall Street Journal
Central Park North Meadow # 2

Tuesday, Aug 2 @ 7 pm
vs. New York Times Magazine
Central Park North Meadow # 11

Tuesday, Aug 9 @ 7 pm
vs. Harper's
Central Park North Meadow # 11

Tuesday, Aug 16 @ 7 pm
vs. High Times
Central Park North Meadow # 11