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While yesterday saw the world go mildly breathless at the thought that Whitney Houston is rumored to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol, we're more entertained by the linguistic implications. By taking actual quotes from Paula Abdul on Idol and Whitney Houston on Being Bobby Brown, one can create a solid Paula-to-Whitney dictionary so comprehensive that it makes the OED more pointless than the DSM:

While Paula says: "That was a little pitchy."
Whitney might say: "Hell to the no!"

Paula: "You did your best."
Whitney: "I want your steak and eggs."

Paula: "Come on, Ryan!"
Whitney: "We don't say s—- to you. Deal with it, Seacrest. Deal with it."

Easy to read, educational, practical, disposable. If this isn't the perfect Scholastic title, then we don't know what is.

Idol Gossip [Popwatch]