We're sorry, dear readers, for denying you the answers to our blind item bonanza for another tortorous 12 hours. We were actually ready to publish this business yesterday at the end of the day, but then it hit us: No Lohan. Seriously, these are the first blind items in recent memory where the possible culprits really aren't Lindsay Lohan. The implications of this earth-shattering revelation were far too great; we had to take a step back and breathe. A blind item without Lohan is like a glass of water without hydrogen, and it took us a whole night to wrap our heads around that.

What we're saying is: Sorry for the delay. Your blind items and innocent guesses after the jump.

Which beautiful new bride of a certain man about town is not unfamiliar with kinky bedroom hijinks? We re told that one of her former live-in lovers kept a coffin stocked with sex toys in their bedroom and had a penchant for wearing a black leather bondage mask during sex.
You said: Lady Trump Melania Knauss was the most popular guess, but she just seems a little, well, obvious, even for Page Six (one of you even declared that P6 would "never refer to the Donald as a 'certain man about town'). Jennifer Garner came in a close second — those of you looking for semantic clues noted that Ben Affleck is starring in a movie called Man About Town. Very smart, grasshoppers! Martina Borgomanero, Mrs. Fabian Basabe, came in a distant third.

Which Saturday Night Live player was anything but smooth while smooching with a young woman he d met at a party? The carnally inclined comic suddenly whipped out his manhood during the make-out session, causing the object of his obsession to run for the door.
You said: Just about everyone to ever be on SNL, but we particularly liked those of you who went with Finesse Mitchell (again with the semantics — "smooth," Finesse). One particularly cruel reader insisted that this had to be the "mannish" Rachel Dratch. Come now, we're all better than that sort of quip! Okay, maybe not, but still.

Which tomcatting boy-bander has been quietly paying child support for a little bundle of joy that he had outside any of his highly publicized relationships?
You said: Judging from the range of guesses, you have no fucking clue. JC Chasez, Justin Timberlake, and Nick Carter were popular guesses, but, then again, you guessed everyone on earth besides the Bee Gees. No Bee Gees? Interesting.