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AAA ranked the expected worst spots for holiday traffic this weekend, and, shockingly, Portland came in tops. (We didn't even know they drive to vacation spots out there; we always thought it was just one big REI-clad hike.) It's bad enough that New York doesn't come in first — have these people never seen the Midtown Tunnel on a summer weekend? — but it gets even worse. Both the Jersey Shore and the Catskills make the top ten, and the Island — which rightfully should be the best in all forms of summering, from cleanest beaches to fanciest restaurants to $90 million teardowns to even traffic — isn't on the list at all.

Jerry Della Femina's gotta be so pissed.

Study Ranks July 4 Vacation Bottlenecks [CNN]