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• ABC has allegedly met with Ellen DeGeneres about taking over for Ted Koppel when he retires from Nightline this December. In related news, Rosie O'Donnell has signed on as the permanent anchor for the CBS Evening News. [Page Six]
• Octogenarian novelest Norman Mailer hates on Asian women — unless, of course, they're the ones on those public access commercials. Those girls are fine. [Lowdown]
• Christian group "The Resistance" is asking Jessica Simpson to apologize for her sinfully skanky video for These Boots are Made for Walking. The group also derides MTV for "celebrating the homosexual agenda," thus missing the big red target on the Logo channel. [Page Six]
• Tom Cruise says he believes in aliens, which comes as a major shock to all Amish living in spider holes. [R&M (2nd item)]