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• Rap diva Eve is none too pleased about the internet leak of an old sex tape — which we saw here (thanks to the perv next door, all so NSFW), but didn't mention because, really, who cares about Eve? Well, maybe you do now, pervs. [R&M]
• Once Russell Crowe's phone finished attacking a Mercer Hotel employee, his vase jumped in on the action. That poor guy just can't catch a peaceful tchotchke. [Page Six]
• Of course Angelina Jolie is carrying Brad Pitt's lovechild. We're just surprised it took this long for the finger-pointing. [Page Six]
• Did VP Dick Cheney receive cardiac treatment in Colorado, or is Arianna Huffington guilty of wishful thinking? [Lowdown]