This image was lost some time after publication.

Despite our constant berating, a few publicists continue to send us press releases — gluttons for punishment, perhaps? Fine by us; something's gotta line the litterbox, after all. Plus those releases keep us in the know. But in the past 24 hours we've received one press release so inscrutable, so sicable, that we have to sit back in awe and admire the mad genius. We're reprinting the following example word for word, typo for typo, ellipses for ellipses:

June 27 2005 FASHION BREAKING NEWS!! :for immediate attention: ..."Christina Agosto" ...A Fashion Star is Born... ...The Karl Lagerfeld of The Americas?... ..."Christina Agosto" will launch her full high end collections... ready to wear, womenswear, haute couture, menswear, ultraluxury sportswear, eveningwear, liesurewear, casualwear, and accessories in the fall...her talent is startleling...

Remember the name: Christina Agosto. If you see her "liesurewear" at Saks, do be sure to make a purchase — all proceeds will go to helping Agosto's reps pass the third grade.